


Wanted: Escort for A Wedding Party

by Kate_Marley



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Blowjobs, Dirty Talk, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Human AU, Hurt/Comfort, Loving Sex, M/M, Making Up, Rough Sex, Sadık is a good best friend, atonal music, escort AU, minor blood scene, no "Pretty Woman" tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 07:25:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 38,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17783123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kate_Marley/pseuds/Kate_Marley
Summary: Roderich has achieved moderate affluence as an orchestra musician in Vienna. Invited to his cousin Sebastian’s wedding at the shores of Lake Geneva, he hires the “most beautiful” escort of an expensive agency in order to snub his unsupportive family. After meeting Antonio, his resolve to leave it at that soon begins to totter…





	Wanted: Escort for A Wedding Party

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been written for the Valentine’s Day Event (VDE) of the Creators of Hetalia Discord server. It’s a collaboration project with [Salytierra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/octavaluna/pseuds/salytierra) who created a wonderful comic of one of the scenes that you will find inserted here. Rina, thank you so, so much for cheering me on as I wrote and for your invaluable suggestions for improvement! ❤︎❤︎❤︎
> 
> ——————————
> 
> Here’s a list of characters’ human names and the countries they represent:  
> Roderich—Austria  
> Sadık—Turkey  
> Sebastian (Basch)—Switzerland  
> Michelle—Seychelles  
> Angélique (Ange)—Monaco  
> Natalya (Nat)—Belarus  
> Antonio—Spain  
> Léa—Belgium  
> Erika—Liechtenstein  
> Henri—Luxembourg  
> Francis—France  
> Ludwig—Germany

_“...invite you to join us for our wedding in a lovely village at the shores of Lake Geneva (please refer to the directions in the enclosed invitation). I know we had our differences in the past, but I’d be overjoyed if I could take these celebrations as an opportunity to become reconciled with you. We ask you to arrive at least two days prior to the wedding...”_ Roderich lowered the letter in his hands.

“What do you think? Should I go?” He turned to Sadık, the timpanist of their orchestra, who absently put another piece of sugar in his coffee.

“Well,” Sadık said thoughtfully, “your cousin’s wedding could be a welcome opportunity to make peace with at least part of your family. Perhaps you should take it.”

“Perhaps,” Roderich echoed. “Perhaps it’s not so much his own wish to make peace with me but his fiancée’s.” He took a sip at his black, unsweetened coffee. “In any case, it’s only Sebastian who made a peace offering. I still need to deal with the rest of my family if I decide to go to his wedding.”

“True.” Sadık sipped at his mug of over-sweetened coffee. “But it’s _his_ wedding. Perhaps he deserves to free himself from past grudges before he starts a new chapter in his life.”

Roderich sighed. Sadık was right.

“The thing is, I don’t want to go on my own,” he admitted. “My family never accepted my choice to study piano and become an orchestra musician. I don’t want to hear the ‘What, you’re almost thirty and still unmarried?’ in addition to the ‘So how much do you earn in your job? What? So little? I earn ten times as much in one month!’” Roderich winced.

“Well, I’ll surely not play your fiancé,” Sadık joked. “Maybe ask one of the girls in the orchestra?”

“Maybe,” Roderich said doubtfully.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

In the end, he did ask. They all declined, but a few days later Michelle, one of the clarinets, handed him an elegant business card after a rehearsal.

 _Angélique de la Roche,_ it said. _Agence Valse en Velours. Escorts for every social occasion._ There was an address in Vienna’s inner city and a phone number.

“That’s my school friend,” Michelle told him. “She’s the boss of an agency that provides escorts for wealthy clients. It’s perhaps a bit expensive, but her agency appears to be very reliable.”

Roderich was staring at her business card for at least an hour, listening to jazz music over his stereo. Then he searched Angélique de la Roche’s agency with his smartphone.

Of course there were no prices. They were probably too high to be openly talked about. Roderich considered the amount of money on his bank account. He decided it would probably suffice. This was a one-time occasion, after all. No more weddings after Basch’s.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Roderich hesitated before the unobtrusive office block in which the escort agency had its quarters. Should he really...

Then again, he had already announced his coming to the secretary. There was no use in shying away from the lion’s den.

The office premises were modern and awash with light. The secretary, a distanced woman with light blonde hair, guided him to a classy office with large windows, a white desk and a black leather sofa.

“Thank you, Natalya,” a blonde woman said, barely looking up from the computer. After Natalya had closed the door, the woman got up and moved towards Roderich. He was surprised to notice she was almost two heads smaller than him.

“Mr Edelstein,” the woman said, giving him a firm handshake. Her red ladies’ suit was as elegant as her meticulously applied lipstick. “Pleased to meet you.”

“I’m pleased to meet you too,” Roderich said, even though he felt nervous, most of all. Sheepishly, he followed her to the sofa.

“Have a glass of tea with me,” she said, gesturing to the side table nearby. It seemed to be some expensive green tea she was drinking. This didn’t surprise him. It suited her. In fact, it suited the whole ambience of her office.

“Thank you.” He seated himself. Taking her time, she poured both a cup for him and for herself.

“So,” she said, “you said you were invited to a wedding.”

“Yes.” He folded his hands in an attempt to avoid nervous gestures. “It’s a wedding in Switzerland, close to Lake Geneva, with plenty people who are better off than me.”

“So you’d like a female escort to accompany you who knows how to act among affluent people,” she made an attempt to summarise his wishes.

“Not necessarily female,” he replied. “The truth is, I’m seeking a good-looking, well-mannered person who is able to impress my family. If they’re a little scandalised, so much the better. They know I’m bisexual anyway, so there’s no need to limit the range of people who come into question.”

“I see.” She tapped her index finger against her chin, thinking about his requirements. Then she walked to a rack full of folders behind her desk.

“There might be someone who is just perfect for your occasion...” She needed to climb a small ladder in order to reach one of the uppermost folders. “Here it is.” Walking back, she opened the folder, sifting through it until she had found the page she had been looking for.

“There.” Angélique presented him with the comp card of a strikingly handsome young man with green eyes and brown, tousled hair. The first photo showed him sitting in casual clothing with his legs apart. In the second, he was wearing a dress suit that complimented his looks. Roderich nodded appreciatively. The third had the young man dressed up as a toreador, half turned to the spectator and half showing off an admirably well-shaped butt. Roderich stared at it until he caught himself doing so. In the fourth, he was naked, sitting cross-legged only to hide his crotch. His defined abs told of years of sportive activity. Swimming, perhaps? Roderich tilted his head to the side. He was lean. He did look like a swimmer.

“This is Antonio,” Angélique said after a while. “Antonio López Martín. Antonio is his real name. López Martín is not.” Roderich nodded, a little stunned by so much male beauty.

“He’s arguably the most beautiful male escort we have.”

“I can believe it.” He did.

“There’s just a tiny financial downside to his services,” Angélique said softly. “We charge a little extra for him.” She took a piece of paper, writing a five-digit number on it. “That’s his price for three days.”

Roderich gulped. And calculated. _Three days. Only once._ He could afford it.

“Okay.”

“A very good decision,” she said with a cat-like grin.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Roderich was on his way to another rehearsal when he received a call from an unknown number. He hesitated for a moment. Normally he didn’t pick up calls from people who weren’t in his phone’s address book and just waited if the callers left a message on his voicemail. Then again, he hadn’t saved any of the contact details of _Agence Valse en Velours..._

“Hello,” he said. “This is Roderich Edelstein.

 _“Hi Roderich,”_ a male voice responded. _“It’s Antonio, your escort. Is it convenient for you to talk now? If not, I can call again later.”_

“Oh, I think it’s fine.” Roderich looked around instinctively. He was walking on a rather broad pavement. The people who passed him paid no attention to some man in a suit who was talking on a mobile phone.

 _“Ange told me you wanted to book me for a wedding,”_ Antonio went on. _“I think it would be good if we could meet up in advance. It’s always good to have matching back stories, in case either of us gets asked how we met while the other isn’t there, for example.”_

“That sounds like a fine idea.” Admittedly, Roderich hadn’t thought this far.

 _“Are you free this evening?”_ Antonio asked. _“At seven, perhaps?”_ Roderich glanced at his watch.

“Half past?” he suggested. “I’m not entirely sure how long today’s rehearsal will be...”

 _“Half past seven is great,”_ Antonio confirmed. _“How about we meet at Café Landtmann?”_ Roderich winced.

“That’s a little too close to home, and by that I mean too close to the Burgtheater... Do you know Café Hummel?” There was always the chance to meet someone he knew there, too, but at least it was a little farther away from one of his places of work.

 _“That’s in Josefstadt, right?”_ Josefstadt was the eighth district of Vienna.

“Correct.” Roderich was pleasantly surprised he didn’t need to explain the location.

 _“Wonderful.”_ Antonio sounded a little absent-minded; Roderich assumed he was noting down the date and place of their meeting. _“All right then, Roderich, I’m looking forward to seeing you this evening!”_

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

In the end, the rehearsal dragged on for much longer than Roderich had estimated. He had no time left to go home and change for his meeting with Antonio. That was why he rushed to Café Hummel in the black frock they were urged to wear at the orchestra, feeling slightly overdressed when he spotted a young man in blue jeans and a black shirt. He recognised Antonio’s face from the comp card.

“Hello,” he greeted him, slightly breathless. “I’m Roderich and I’m too late. Sorry about that.” He extended a hand towards the stranger.

“It’s no problem at all,” the stranger said with a disarming smile. “I’m Antonio. Good to meet you.” He gave Roderich a firm handshake.

When they had seated themselves, Antonio studied the menu with childlike eagerness.

“Oh! They have Einspänner!” he said excitedly. “And hot chocolate with chilli!”

“The first isn’t really unusual here,” Roderich commented. “And it’s not exactly hot chocolate season now.”

“Would you mind if I ordered one nonetheless?” Roderich had no idea how anyone was able to say “no” to Antonio’s puppy dog eyes. He sighed in defeat.

“No, go ahead. Be my guest.”

“Thank you.” Antonio gave him a boyish smile. Roderich wondered if that was a show he put on for people like him or if it was simply Antonio’s personality. In any case, he found it disarming.

After they had ordered their beverages, Antonio smiled some more and interlaced his fingers.

“Are your relatives really that scary?”

“Scary?” Roderich blinked in confusion.

“I thought so because it seems like I’m supposed to ... become some sort of buffer between you and your relatives?” He grinned sheepishly. “I mean, if I understood correctly. I wasn’t sure. That was part of why I wanted to meet you a little in advance.”

“A buffer?” Roderich thought about that. “Well, you’re not wrong. I’m expecting my mother, in particular, to make a lot of unpleasant comments: How much more money I’d earn if I’d taken on a career in banking like my cousin; how pretty my cousin’s fiancée is—I don’t even know if she’s pretty yet; I’ve never seen her before—whereas I don’t even have a partner ... Things like that.”

“Well, she can’t say the latter anymore if I’m there,” Antonio pointed out, this time with a slightly mischievous grin. His face was so expressive ... Roderich caught himself staring at it for longer than he intended. “I’m assuming she will also talk to you more moderately when you’re not facing her on your own,” Antonio added. “Is that right?”

“Yes, exactly.” Antonio was smart; Roderich liked that. It also made him wonder if Antonio’s sheepishness was just his way of asking questions without appearing too obtrusive.

“I suppose your family will also be curious about me if they like to ask questions about your life,” Antonio tried to bridge the conversation to the topic he had mentioned on the phone.

“Yes, our back stories,” Roderich picked up on his cue. “You may already know I work as a pianist for an orchestra. I’m also a piano teacher, both at the university and freelance. I think you could perhaps have been a student of mine...”

“Oh, I’m hopeless on the piano.” Antonio laughed. “They’d find out as soon as someone asked us to play four-handed. I’m quite good on the guitar, though. Rock classics; Spanish traditionals; the occasional classical piece. That’s my jam.”

They were interrupted when the waiter served Antonio’s hot chocolate and a black coffee for Roderich.

“Then where could we have met?” Roderich wondered when the waiter had left. “At one of my solo concerts, perhaps?”

“I’m not exactly the star musician’s groupie, I’m afraid.” Antonio smiled another of his disarming smiles. “Perhaps you should know I study medicine. This,” he gestured vaguely in the air, “is my way of financing my studies. So if you’re giving piano courses at uni, we might have met at the cafeteria in the main building.”

“That’s a good idea, actually.” Roderich thought about it. “There’s just the problem that my mother knows I’m not socialising with strangers easily...”

“No problem,” Antonio said. “We could have met again at my side job.” He winked cheekily. “My side job as a dresser at some concert. That’s where we met again, and it’s where we started to have a chat.”

“We don’t normally meet the dressers, though.” Roderich thought for a while. “How about we combine my earlier idea: When you met me in the cafeteria, you recognised me from a concert you attended and decided to comment on my piano performance.”

“Sounds good to me,” Antonio consented. “And that’s when the hobby guitarist fell for the cute renowned pianist.” Roderich huffed.

“Could you please not call me cute?” he grumbled.

“I’m afraid that won’t be possible.” Antonio smiled in amusement. “I’m going to be a convincing boyfriend. That includes silly terms of endearment for my beloved.”

Roderich sighed in defeat, but the corners of his mouth were quirking upward. Antonio grinned. They both knew Roderich was already starting to like this cheeky, handsome boy.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

They ended up talking on the phone for several times on the following days. Roderich had decided not to take the chore of a ten-hour drive upon himself but to go to Geneva by plane. Basch and his fiancée would then pick them up by car and bring them to the hotel they had booked for their wedding festivities. That was how Roderich learned that Antonio’s actual surnames were Fernández Carriedo—of course booking a flight under a fake name was out of the question.

Sometimes he wouldn’t reach Antonio because his phone was either turned off or set to silent mode. Roderich had the impression he was always answering faithfully when he gave a reason for not being able to catch a call. _“Sorry, I went to the shopping centre with a few fellow students and didn’t look on my phone,”_ he would say, but also _“Sorry, I saw your call earlier but couldn’t answer it because I was still with a client.”_ It didn’t take long until Roderich was curious enough to ask him a few reluctant questions about his job.

“I don’t really understand,” he said after Antonio had mentioned going for a walk with a client and her dog. “How you can do this job, I mean. Perhaps I shouldn’t mention it because I am your client now, too, but...”

_“But you don’t get why I’m willing to spend my time as the companion of people I’ve never met before?”_

“Well, not just the companion...” _But also the sex partner._ Roderich didn’t know how to formulate it. He heard Antonio laugh in response.

 _“I guess I should tell you a few things about Ange’s agency,”_ he chuckled. _“Nat always does little background checks—basically making sure the clients haven’t lied about their circumstances and don’t have a history of being violent. If there’s no photo of the client online, Ange asks them to have one taken at the agency so their escort can have a look at them in advance.”_

“Oh,” Roderich said. “I didn’t know that.” He thought about it. “Then again, there are a few photos of me on my orchestra’s website...”

 _“Yes, and there are also a few newspaper articles about you,”_ Antonio confirmed. _“You look quite dapper in that black frock, I must say. I recognised you instantly when you arrived at the café.”_

Roderich huffed. He was glad Antonio couldn’t see him blush at the other end of the line. Compliments about his looks always embarrassed him.

 _“You must know we’re not obliged to accept clients,”_ Antonio explained. _“We can refuse if we think we wouldn’t get along with someone at all. But I’m sure that won’t be the case for the two of us. It’s a bit like dating with Tinder,”_ he said nonchalantly. _“You swipe right, and if I swipe right too, it’s a match.”_

“Oh.” Roderich had the impression he hardly said anything else anymore. Too much new information. “Sorry, I have no idea about dating apps.”

 _“You don’t seem the type for them anyway.”_ Roderich could hear the smile in Antonio’s voice. _“I got the impression you’re rather the type for long conversations. Hooking up with somebody for sex probably isn’t your thing.”_

“No,” Roderich replied. “I mean, yes, you’re right. They’re not my thing.” He was surprised about Antonio’s expertise in knowing people.

 _“I like both,”_ Antonio told him. _“And as an escort, you actually get both. There’s always people who book you because they assume you’re good in bed. In the price range of Ange’s agency, however, there’s more people like ... like experts in a certain area who want to have a deep conversation about their study subject with you. They pay you to listen to them and if they realise you’re genuinely interested to learn more, they start to open up. I think that’s the best part of my job.”_

“That ... sounds a little sad, though,” Roderich said quietly. “They shouldn’t have to pay for meaningful conversations.” He was thinking about all the chats he had had with Sadık about composition; with Michelle about the theory of harmony... He realised how lucky he was to work in a field where people loved to nerd about the same things.

 _“Maybe. I don’t know.”_ Antonio sounded thoughtful. _“In any case, sometimes it’s just friendship they’re seeking. A companion to talk to. Sometimes they’re craving physical love as well. It really depends on the person. But what I wanted to tell you is ... they’re all lovely people. I enjoy talking with them, and the sex with them is enjoyable too.”_ He took a deep breath. _“I’m telling you this because I think this is the first time you encounter someone who works as an escort, and I want you to understand this isn’t just some job I’m doing because I need the money. It’s a job I do because I like it. I mean, of course I need the money, too, but who doesn’t.”_ He chuckled.

“That’s true. But it’s better to earn money doing something you like.” Roderich thought about his own choice to pursue a career in music. “I understand now. I actually do. It’s not something I could imagine doing myself, but I understand it’s the right choice for you to earn your living this way.”

 _“Thank you, Roderich.”_ Roderich imagined another smile on Antonio’s lips. _“I’m looking forward to attending your cousin’s wedding with you. I’m curious how it will be.”_

“Me too, Antonio, me too.” Roderich laughed.

When they had ended the call, Roderich realised he enjoyed talking to Antonio a lot. The young man was honest and friendly, and he seemed interested in making his clients comfortable both with his job and himself. There was still a part of Roderich who wondered if this was just Antonio being professional, but he was starting to believe it was genuine.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

They met at the train to the airport and chatted a little about belated trains and strange fellow passengers they had encountered in the past. The flight itself was uneventful. Roderich decided to work on a piece for piano solo while Antonio was reading a travel magazine about Lake Geneva.

“Have you ever been to the area before?” Roderich asked, gesturing at the magazine.

“No.” Antonio gave him a disarming smile. “I always thought Switzerland was too expensive to travel to.” He thought for a while. “But perhaps I could afford it now...”

“You’re quite successful, aren’t you?”

“I guess so.” Antonio gave him a puppy dog smile that made him chuckle.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Basch and his fiancée were waiting for them behind the “no customs” gate. His cousin was thin as a rake as ever, wearing a grey suit and a white beret on his flaxen hair. The fiancée, introduced to them as Léa, wore a white blouse and elegant blue trousers. She was a beautiful woman, curvy at all the right places, with a round face and blonde, wavy hair. Roderich caught Antonio staring at her breasts and boxed him lightly in the side.

“She’s very pretty,” he whispered to Roderich with an exaggeratedly contrite glance. Roderich couldn’t help but smile. Antonio’s boyishness was so disarming he couldn’t be cross with him. Basch seemed to think the same.

“I’m glad my cousin has found someone who is able to make him smile more,” he told Antonio. “I only understood how important that is once I met Léa.” Basch regarded her with the softest look Roderich had ever seen on his face. He felt a little bad for the charade he was playing with Antonio.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The hotel the couple had booked for their wedding guests was beautiful; an old-fashioned building with modernised interior right by the lakeside. Léa insisted on showing them their room.

“You can see right over the lake from here!” she exclaimed. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

“It really is!” Antonio was as excited as a little boy who saw a large lake for the first time in his life. He stood by the window, gazing at Lake Geneva. “It’s so blue! And the mountains surrounding it really make it special! It’s even better than the photos in my travel guide!” Roderich chuckled.

“It’s a lovely room, Léa,” he said. “I’m glad we’ve come here.”

To the left of the door, there first was a wardrobe and then a desk with a leather office chair. Next to the desk, there was a mirror and a door leading to a small bathroom. Opposite it, there was a full-size bed and, at the end of the room, the large window looking out on the lake that fascinated Antonio so much.

“Thank you.” Léa smiled. “Now you have plenty of time to freshen up, rest a little and perhaps go for a walk by the lakeside,” she explained. “The guests are expected to meet at six and get to know each other over a couple of drinks. Dinner will start at half past seven.”

“Lovely.” Roderich returned her smile. He wondered if he really appeared happier while Antonio was by his side.

“Do you want to shower first?” Antonio asked after Léa had left. “You look a little exhausted.” Roderich blinked. It was true; he felt weary. But Antonio had noticed before he had realised it himself.

“Thank you. Flights always stress me a little, even if they’re short.”

“But they’re still better than a ten-hour drive,” Antonio said, grinning.

“Much better.” Roderich laughed.

Antonio showered right after him. Roderich took the office chair and sat in front of the mirror with his travel hairdryer and a comb. There was this stray strand of hair that always escaped his efforts to flatten it... Roderich grumbled.

He was still trying to tame his hair as Antonio came out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his head and another around his waist. Roderich’s eyes lingered on Antonio’s abs for perhaps a little longer than socially acceptable. When they reached his face, they were met with a knowing smile. Abruptly, Roderich turned back to the mirror, pretending to be extremely busy with his hair. Antonio laughed. He tossed the towel around his hair to the side, stepping behind his client.

Roderich was acutely aware of the warm hands that rested on his shoulders and of the fact that he was only wearing boxer shorts. He felt torn between making an attempt to gain back his personal space and a concealed wish Antonio wouldn’t step away.

“I’d know another way to make you feel more relaxed,” Antonio’s voice said close to his ear. Roderich’s cock twitched. He knew Antonio was talking about sex, but he wasn’t quite ready to admit to himself this was what he wanted too.

“Don’t worry,” Antonio said, stepping a little closer. “I just want to make you feel good. You don’t have to do anything.”

“I don’t know if that would be such a good idea...” Roderich hesitated, but he could feel himself getting hard in anticipation. Antonio laughed softly.

“I can see the bulge in your boxers,” he pointed out. “Why don’t you listen to your body more?” Roderich was struggling with himself.

“You’re like a little devil that sits on my shoulder and whispers: _Give in to your lust!”_ he grumbled.

 _“Give in to your lust!”_ Antonio whispered in Roderich’s ear, barely able to conceal his giggling. He peppered Roderich’s neck with little kisses. Roderich didn’t mean to, but he started to chuckle as well.

“All right, all right, I admit defeat!” He sighed dramatically. Antonio turned the office chair so Roderich was facing him and sank to his knees.

“Very well, my liege, then lift your butt so I can get you out of those boxers!” He even made a mock bow. “I promise that’s the last action I request you to undertake in the foreseeable future.” Roderich snorted at Antonio’s language, but he did as he was told.

Antonio freed Roderich’s half-hard cock from the only layer of clothing that had hid it from sight. He paused, inspecting it closely.

“Is there anything wrong?” Roderich did his best to keep the nervousness out of his tone, but he didn’t quite manage.

“I’m just admiring,” Antonio said calmingly. “That’s a very nice cock you have.” He took it in his hand, rubbing at its underside with his thumb. Roderich responded with a sharp intake of breath.

“But why were you worried?” Antonio looked at him, not judging, just inquiring.

Roderich didn’t respond. He thought of the years he had spent at an expensive private school, with male classmates who were much more interested in sports and in hooking up with the girls than in classical music and literature and the fine arts. Roderich had come off to them as that gay, girlish weirdo. Explaining to them that he was bisexual hadn’t exactly made things better. He had been able to assert himself; to fend them off in an armour of haughtiness and indifference. But their insults had stung.

He had always been of slender built, albeit with a slight tendency to a muffin top around his waist, and sports that build up muscle had never interested him. Riding; yes. But that didn’t build up visible muscle, and it was another thing most of the other boys considered “girlish” about him.

The fatal thing was that their body type was attractive to him. He thought people with a body like Antonio’s were beautiful. That had been another blow to his self-esteem. He had been uncomfortable with the way his own body looked. Unlike most of the other insults he had suffered, this one had stuck. Not even more than ten years out of school had changed anything about it.

“It’s okay,” Antonio’s soft voice said into his thoughts. “I was being too obtrusive. Sorry. I just want you to know your cock feels good in my hand. You’re a beautiful man, especially when you’re aroused.” Roderich’s cock started to throb.

“Do you tell all your clients what they want to hear?” Roderich couldn’t help it; he couldn’t stop grumbling, not even while his extremely attractive escort boy was giving him a handjob.

“I just speak my mind.” Antonio was giving him an impish smile. “Anyway, it seems to work. You’re completely hard now. But you’re right; I should stop talking.” He bowed over Roderich’s lap and took him into his mouth.

Roderich gasped. He hadn’t been prepared for this change in technique. His head fell back and his eyes closed, focusing on the wet sensation of Antonio’s mouth and the roughness of his tongue.

He had forgotten how good this felt. The truth was, he hadn’t had a lasting relationship in _years_ and even less sex. He was a very private person, hesitant to open up to others. Hooking up with someone just to have sex was something he considered beneath him, and like any person with a sinking libido due to lack of sex, he had told himself he didn’t need it all that much anyway. Antonio had been completely right; an app like Tinder was not for him because what he craved was a soulmate, not a fling. Or so he had thought.

It took a moment for him to realise the moans he heard where his own. He tried to muffle them, covering his mouth with his hand. Antonio stopped, and cold air hit his aching cock. He opened his eyes.

“Hey.” Antonio took his hand, placing it on the armrest. “I want to hear the sounds you make. You’re not loud,” he reassured him. “It’s not like the other wedding guests will know.”

“Okay, but can you go on?” Antonio laughed at the urgency in his tone. His towel was slipping off, revealing his own erection. Roderich stared at it. Antonio’s cock wasn’t particularly big; about average-sized, he would say. But it was thick and flushed and merged nicely into his pubic hair and the happy trail that lead down from his chest. He wondered if Antonio had touched himself while he had sucked him off. The thought aroused him even more.

Then Antonio went down on him again, and his head fell back, his mind focused at the sensation around his cock. He knew he was getting close, but he felt unable to speak and warn Antonio.

He came faster than he had estimated. Perhaps his stamina had suffered because he hadn’t had sex for so long. Antonio swallowed his come, licking him clean afterwards. He vanished into the bathroom while Roderich was still catching his breath.

“Sorry,” he said when Antonio returned. “I was only thinking about myself.”

“As you should.” Antonio laughed. “This was all about you. Do you feel better now? More relaxed?” He put his hands on Roderich’s shoulders again, rubbing circles.

Roderich nodded, still feeling a little dazed from his sexual high.

“Not really,” Antonio said critically. “The muscles in your shoulders are all stiff. Can you get to the bed? Then I’m giving you a proper shoulder massage. A non-sexual one, I mean.”

“If you support me?” Roderich’s legs felt weak and his thighs were still sensitive from the sexual stimulation.

Antonio laughed again, extending a hand to him. When Roderich stood, he held him around the shoulders and half carried him to the bed.

“We’ve done it!” he exclaimed when Roderich slumped on the bed, stomach first.

“In more than one sense,” Roderich mumbled, voice muffled by the duvet. Antonio snorted in amusement, and Roderich heard him rummage around in his luggage. Then he heard the sound of a jar that was opened.

“You’re not using lube for this, aren’t you?” he asked suspiciously.

“No, you dumb boy.” Antonio chuckled. “I’m using proper massage oil. I received training to become a physiotherapist before I started to study medicine.”

 _“I’m_ the dumb boy?” Roderich asked, grumbling.

“Yes, obviously!” Antonio laughed. “If you knew what was good for you, you’d have had someone suck you off and give you a massage a long time ago!”

Roderich wanted to argue with that, but the firm hands on his shoulders had a calming effect on him. He felt as if Antonio’s hands were easing all the tensions in his shoulders and his body. Before he knew it, he was drifting off to sleep.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

“Wake up, Sleeping Beauty!”

Roderich grumbled something unintelligible. He tried to pull the blanket over his head, only to find he was lying on top of it.

“What time is it?” He became suddenly wide awake. “I didn’t oversleep, did I?”

“No worries,” Antonio’s soothing voice told him. “It’s quarter to six. I thought I’d better wake you up in time so you can get ready for the get-together.”

“Oh... I’d better hurry then!”

Roderich got dressed in no time, only to fiddle around with his hair for several minutes. He glanced at his watch nervously.

“Hey.” Antonio wrapped his arms around him. “Relax. You’re beautiful as you are, and that one strand of hair that’s sticking upwards is the certain something of your looks.”

“If you say so.” Roderich sighed. In any case, Antonio was right: He didn’t have the time to keep tinkering with his hair.

“Let’s go!” Antonio nudged him lightly.

“So what did you do while I was asleep?” Roderich asked when they had reached the stairs. “Did you go for a walk by the lakeside?”

“Well ... A bit.” Antonio smiled sheepishly. “I basically just stood there and stared at the lake. It’s really beautiful.”

“You act as if there weren’t any pretty lakes in Austria,” Roderich grumbled.

“Of course there are but...” Antonio gestured around. “Not like this.”

“I’m glad you like it here so much,” Léa’s voice greeted them from the bottom of the stairs. She was wearing a beautiful blue dress that complimented her feminine curves.

“Yes!” Antonio exclaimed. “Your country is absolutely lovely!”

“Actually, I’m not from Switzerland.” Léa chuckled. “Perhaps I should tell you how I got to know Baschi. It’s a really...”

“Oh, please don’t!” a young man interrupted her. Part of his blonde hair was combed over one side of his face. “There won’t be anything left for Erika and me to say if you tell all the guests beforehand!” Léa laid an arm around his shoulders.

“May I introduce you to Henri, my little brother?” she said. “Henri, this is Baschi’s cousin Roderich with his partner Antonio.”

“Pleased to meet you!” Antonio said, shaking Henri’s hand. Roderich followed suit.

When they had greeted each other, Léa ushered all three of them into a room equipped with bar tables. There was a bar in one corner, and some guests already had drinks in their hands. They were standing at the tables, chatting with each other. Léa smiled.

“I hope the atmosphere will stay this cordial,” she said. “Family gatherings are always a bit of a risk for old conflicts to re-emerge.”

“I’ll do my best,” Roderich assured her. “At the least I don’t intend to be the one who instigates anything.” He had already spotted his mother, talking to some other middle-aged woman he hadn’t seen before.

“And I’ll try to keep you out of harm’s way!” Antonio linked arms with him.

“Looks like you’re going to be put to the test soon,” Roderich mumbled. “The woman walking towards us is my mother.” He put on a strained smile. _Remember: Smiling is the most elegant way of baring one’s teeth at one’s opponents,_ he thought to himself.

“The woman with brown hair in a bun and rimmed glasses who looks like the strict governess from _Heidi?”_

“Precisely.” Roderich looked at Antonio in surprise. “That’s interesting. You’re only the second person I meet who likens her to Fräulein Rottenmeier.” He couldn’t say more because his mother was coming too close to them. He was fairly sure she was now able to hear him over the noise the other guests were making.

“I’ll be behind you,” Antonio whispered to him, leaning close to his ear for a moment.

“Roderich,” his mother said in a sickeningly sweet tone. Roderich knew all too well what that meant. She intended to insult him with a series of verbal jabs, talking in that same sweet tone all the while. Her aim was to make him so angry _he_ would appear as the mean person to everyone while she would play the poor, concerned mother who was cursed with an ungrateful son.

“Mother,” he greeted her. There was no way he would call her “mom.”

“I’m glad you’ve decided to come to this wedding at least,” she said. “I had half assumed that the great musician deems us too uninteresting to grace us with his presence, considering I barely heard of you in the past three years.”

“Hello, Mrs Edelstein,” Antonio chimed in, ignoring the hostile atmosphere that built up between mother and son. “It’s so nice to meet you!” He extended a hand to her. “I’m Antonio.” Roderich’s mother gave her son an irritated look, ignoring Antonio’s hand.

“He’s my partner,” Roderich said.

“Your partner?” The irritated look on her face remained. “I thought you played in an orchestra and not as a duo? What instrument does he play?”

“Mother. This is my boyfriend.” Roderich sighed. “I told you I was bisexual _fifteen years ago.”_

“I play the guitar, by the way,” Antonio chimed in again, a seemingly oblivious smile on his face.

“Oh.” She frowned. “I thought you had grown out of that phase already. Your father and I shouldn’t have allowed your boarding school to put you in a dormitory with so many other boys, but we thought that phase of sexual confusion only occurred at all-boys schools.”

“Mother.” Roderich sighed again. “Sometimes you talk as if you never heard of queer people. I just am like that. It’s not a passing stage.” He had almost forgotten how frustrating it was to talk to his mother.

“I’m bisexual too, and I’ve never even been to a boarding school,” Antonio added.

“Then why can’t you both look for a nice girl to marry?” his mother said in incomprehension. “That would make both your lives so much less complicated.”

“But I don’t want anyone but Roderich,” Antonio said, sounding like a pouting little boy. “He’s sincere and honest and charming and he’s a wonderful pianist.” He took Roderich’s hand. Roderich was grateful for it. It gave him the impression he wasn’t fighting this fight on his own, and that was the exact reason why he hadn’t wanted to go to the wedding alone.

“A wonderful pianist.” Roderich’s mother snorted. “An orchestra musician. He sells himself short in that profession! Look at Sebastian. A career as a bank clerk...”

“A career as a bank clerk would have bored me to death!” Roderich interrupted her. She shook her head at her son’s act of discourtesy and eventually turned to Antonio.

“What even is your profession? I bet it is nothing decent either.” Roderich needed to make a considerable effort to keep a straight face at hearing her words. “Are you working in one of the unprofitable arts as well?”

“I’m a trained physiotherapist,” Antonio said in a matter-of-fact way, secretly giving Roderich’s hand a light squeeze. “Now I study medicine in order to become a physician.”

For once, Roderich’s mother didn’t know what to say. Roderich suppressed a satisfied smile. Léa took the opportunity to offer Roderich’s mother a piece of cake, and Antonio guided Roderich to the bar without letting go of his hand.

Roderich needed schnapps after this experience. He drank it in one go at the bar, ignoring Antonio’s irritated glance as he put down his shot glass.

“Two glasses of wine,” he ordered afterwards. “You’re drinking red wine too, aren’t you?” he asked Antonio somewhat belatedly.

“I do,” he replied. “But I thought ... I mean, I thought you didn’t drink much?”

“I don’t,” Roderich said. “But I need something sharp and burning after that conversation. Something ... to purge the anger from my body, so to say.”

“I’m sorry,” Antonio said when they had found a bar table of their own. “Did she treat you this dismissively while you were a child, too? That must have been hard.”

“Well, yes, but ... others had it way worse than me. My parents never beat me, and ...”

“That may be. But the pain others feel doesn’t make your own pain less valid. Verbal violence can be traumatising ...”

“You sound like a psychologist.” Roderich interrupted him, giving him a suspicious glance.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to be so intrusive.” Antonio looked sad. Roderich immediately felt as if he had done something wrong. Sadness just wasn’t supposed to appear on Antonio’s ever-smiling face.

“No, I’m sorry.” Roderich sighed. “It’s just ... This has always been my fight, and mine alone.”

“Then why did you ask for someone to accompany you to your cousin’s wedding? And someone you can show off with too?”

 _Fuck._ Roderich bit his lips. Antonio had nailed it. That young man was far too perceptive for Roderich’s liking.

“You don’t have to fight this fight on your own,” Antonio said softly. “I’m here. And I’m sure other relatives of you and your friends in Vienna would be one hundred per cent willing to back you if you ever decided to let them in on your life a little more.”

“Yes, but I’m thirty years old. I should have left all that behind me a long time ago. That’s why I cut off all ties between my parents and me.”

“Doing that may have been the right decision at the time, but I think it’s also why you haven’t been able to get a proper closure...” Antonio was speaking with emotion, but he cut himself off before he had finished the sentence. “Sorry. That was too intrusive again.”

“It’s okay,” Roderich said reluctantly. “You’re probably right with everything you said. It’s just...” He sighed for what seemed to be the thousandth time. “I’m thirty. I live my own life. But still ... I just wish she accepted the way I want to live my life.” Antonio placed his palm over the back of Roderich’s hand. Roderich took it gladly.

“I’m so sorry you have to deal with this,” Antonio said in a heartfelt way. “I’d give you a hug, but I suppose you don’t want that while your mother might see you.”

“Thank you,” he said. “And you’re right about that.”

“But I’ll give you one when we’re alone again.” Antonio winked. Roderich smiled.

“What was that about no hugs?” a young, female voice said behind Roderich. “I’d be very disappointed if you didn’t give me a hug, Uncle Roderich!”

“Erika!” Roderich exclaimed. He turned around and all but swept the girl behind him off her feet with his embrace.

“That’s Erika, Basch’s sister,” he introduced the girl after putting her feet back to the floor. “Erika, this is my boyfriend Antonio.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Erika said with a smile. She took Antonio’s outstretched hand and added: “I’m so glad Roderich has found such a sweet partner. I was a bit worried because he never mentioned anybody during our occasional chats on WhatsApp.”

“Oh ... He didn’t?” Antonio gave Roderich a confused glance. He was playing his role quite well; Roderich had to give him that. “I hope you weren’t ashamed of me, darling?” There was a sly glint in Antonio’s eyes. Roderich blushed. He understood very well what Antonio was implying: Of course he would be ashamed if Erika learned he had hired an escort for her brother’s wedding party.

“Oh ... no,” he stammered. “It’s only ... It seemed too good to be true. I haven’t been in a relationship for so long ... I wanted to wait if it actually worked out.”

“Oh Roderich.” Erika was ten years younger than him, but in moments like these, she sounded much older. “I wish you’d just call the people you’re close to and gush about the things that make you happy. All you do instead is quietly smile to yourself.” Then she turned to Antonio. “But I heard how you make my cousin laugh and chuckle, and I’d like to thank you for that. He deserves some more levity in his life.”

“See? See?” Antonio turned to Roderich excitedly. “That’s exactly what I keep telling you! It’s good to be responsible and serious, but sometimes you just need to relax and enjoy life for a bit.”

“All right, all right.” Roderich patted Antonio’s arm. “Both of you are right.”

“But he’s getting better at it,” Antonio told Erika with a wink. He laid an arm around Roderich’s shoulders, pecking him on the cheek.

“I’m so glad you’re happy and my brother is happy, and that’s making me happy too.” Erika smiled. “Speaking of Baschi, I should probably check on him and ask if there’s anything I can help with.”

“We don’t want to keep you back.” Roderich smiled. “It was nice talking to you again, Erika.”

Waving, Erika vanished between the other guests. Roderich lifted his hand in response.

“Gosh, what a sweet girl!” Antonio exclaimed. “You really should become closer to this part of your family again. Sebastian seems like a nice guy, Léa is adorable, and Erika is an absolute ray of sunshine.”

“You’re very right.” Roderich stared at their table sheepishly. The hand that was still resting around his shoulders made him feel a little uneasy—were people looking? Of course, someone was always looking— and strangely reassured at the same time. He wanted it to stay where it was, but he could already feel Antonio lift it.

“Can you hold me ... just a little while longer?” Roderich bit his lower lip. That had slipped out.

“Sure.” Antonio’s hand slid around his waist and his grip became a little stronger. “I just thought ... Well, you seemed uneasy.”

“I’m a little nervous, I suppose,” Roderich admitted. “I’m just not used to this. But I wanted it.”

“You’re becoming a little more open with your wishes.” Antonio smiled. “I like that.”

“Oh ... Well ... I ...” Roderich fell silent. What he had meant was that he had wanted people to see him with Antonio, but it wouldn’t do any harm if Antonio thought he had referred to him putting his arm around him. And wasn’t it true that way, too?

“You’re cute when you’re embarrassed,” Antonio chuckled, tightening his grip a little. “But I want to see your confident side, too. Confidence makes you sexy.”

“Then give me a piano to play! I’m most confident about my musical abilities.” Roderich was glad he had avoided spluttering something like _Oh ... really?_ at least this time.

“Then let’s go find it!” Antonio exclaimed. “Surely there must be a piano in this hall!”

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

They did find a piano, complete with a music book full of pieces for piano solo by various artists. Roderich sat on the piano stool and Antonio positioned himself next to him, ready to turn a page when necessary.

Starting with a few piano pieces by Chopin, Roderich and Antonio soon attracted a group of spectators. They clapped at the end of each piece and Roderich waved.

“Oh! It’s almost ten!” Roderich exclaimed after a while when he noticed a clock on the wall opposite to them. “I thought I had only been playing for half an hour!”

“Yes, let’s mix with the other guests again.” Antonio chuckled. “I actually noticed, but time flies when there’s beautiful music to listen to.”

“Fine, fine.” Roderich pouted a little, but it was mostly for show. “Let’s go back to the others, do a bit of small talk, and then retire. The programme says most of tomorrow and Sunday will be festivities, so we’re going to need a good night’s sleep.”

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

One and a half hours, two glasses of wine, and several rather trivial conversations later, Antonio flopped down on their bed, face first.

“Hey!” Roderich poked his shoulder. “Shouldn’t you at least brush your teeth and undress?”

“Mmmh ... later,” he mumbled. “You go first. I’m a little tired and this bed is pretty comfortable...”

Ten minutes later, Roderich poked his shoulder again. Antonio stirred and yawned.

“Damn ... guess I’m getting old,” he complained. “It’s only twenty to twelve and I’m half falling asleep.”

Roderich chuckled and crawled under the bed sheet. The next thing he felt was a warm body pulling him close.

“Antonio,” he grumbled. “Didn’t I say you should brush your teeth?”

“I did!” Antonio assured him. “Seems like you dozed off for a bit.”

“Hm.” That was short for _Could be._

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Roderich was about to fall asleep when he felt something hard poking against his butt.

“Seriously?” he mumbled. “I thought you were tired.”

“Not that tired. And you heard Erika: Sometimes it’s good to relax and enjoy life.”

Roderich wanted to point out that this was what Antonio had said himself. Then there was a hand at his thigh, brushing against the soft skin at the inside with callused fingertips. It was infinitely more interesting than the question of who had said what.

“Don’t worry,” Antonio whispered against his ear. “I just want us to have a good time.” His hot breath was enough for Roderich to get hard.

“What do you have in mind?”

“Just turn around,” Antonio said. When Roderich had done so and they were face to face, Antonio pulled back the blankets. The lights were still on, giving Roderich a good view of Antonio’s body and the bulge in his underwear. Before he had overcome his hesitation to make a move, Antonio was already stroking Roderich’s cock through his boxers.

Roderich bit his lips to keep himself from moaning. Then he remembered what Antonio had said about making sounds during sex earlier in the evening and slackened his lower jaw.

“Hey!” Antonio pouted. “The first time was only about you, but now I want to have a bit of fun, too!”

Roderich chuckled to cover up his excitement. He followed Antonio’s happy trail with his palm, sliding his hand down until he was cupping the erection in Antonio’s underwear. Antonio rolled his hips against his hand, and Roderich tried to feel out as much as he could.

“Someone seems to like this a lot,” Antonio teased, flicking his thumb against the tip of Roderich’s cock. Roderich gasped. “There’s a wet spot in your underwear,” Antonio pointed out. “Guess it’s time to get rid of it.”

Roderich lifted his hips so Antonio could undress him. Then it was his turn to pull down Antonio’s boxers, and he did so almost reverently. He had only been able to sneak a glance at Antonio’s hard cock earlier, so he took his time to admire it with due reverence now. Roderich couldn’t help imagining how nice it would feel inside of him.

Unlike Roderich, Antonio was comfortable with his looks. He watched Roderich watch him with a knowing smile. But his patience wasn’t endless.

“Hey!” Antonio flicked his index finger against Roderich’s nose playfully. “My dick isn’t some sort of museum piece with a ‘No touch’ sign!”

“I sure hope so,” Roderich said, but he took the cue and started to stroke Antonio with his fingertips. Antonio seemed to have waited for him to make the first move. His hand closed around Roderich’s cock, and Roderich didn’t know what was hotter: Getting to touch Antonio or having Antonio touch him. He closed his eyes, focusing on the sensations.

That was why he almost flinched when he heard Antonio’s voice whisper another “hey” from much closer. He opened his eyes and found Antonio’s face right next to him. Roderich wondered why he hadn’t sensed him earlier. He lost the thought when Antonio placed a small object in his hand. It was a condom. Roderich stared at Antonio wide-eyed.

“No, it’s probably not for what you think it is.” Antonio chuckled. “I didn’t even ask you if you’re top or bottom yet.”

“Verse,” Roderich informed him. He hesitated before he brought himself to add: “But I _so_ wouldn’t mind bottoming to you.”

“We’ll get there,” Antonio promised. “And to doing it the other way round, too. I’m more of a top than a verse, but I realise that my ass is too perfect to deprive mankind of it.” He winked.

Roderich remembered the shapely butt in the toreador costume from Antonio’s comp card. The mental image of him rubbing his cock between those two plump butt cheeks definitely outweighed any offence he might have taken at Antonio’s ostentatious self-description.

“Oh, I see you like the idea,” Antonio commented, taking Roderich’s chin between his fingers. “Your pupils are so wide your eyes are almost black, and your dick...” The fingers on his chin vanished, only to reappear on Roderich’s cock. “Your dick is really hard now. Good.”

Roderich needed a moment to realise Antonio had another condom and was rolling it over Roderich’s cock. He had always considered condoms a necessary evil; inevitable save for long-time partners but killing the lust for a moment. The way Antonio did it—rubbing and teasing with one hand while the other put the condom where it belonged—made Roderich gasp against Antonio’s throat and buck his hips against his fingers.

“The powers of effective dirty talk,” Antonio whispered in his ear, and Roderich didn’t need to see his face to know he was grinning. Then the condom between his own fingers was gone, and Roderich knew Antonio was putting it on himself.

“Sorry,” he said a little breathlessly. “I guess I’m too aroused to be useful.”

“Nicely said.” Antonio snickered. “And it’s okay. I think I like when you’re too aroused to be useful. Then he kissed him, and Roderich had one of those rare moments in which his mind went almost blank. He stopped questioning how scandalous it was to have sex with someone he paid to be with him and to lie to his relatives, focusing on a kiss that was hot and wet and yet surprisingly gentle.

Antonio seemed to sense Roderich was getting lost in the moment. He tangled their legs, stroking their erections together until Roderich’s hips started to move out of their own volition and he was moaning into the kiss. He was amazed how close he came just from feeling Antonio’s cock against his own, and not even skin-to-skin but through the layers of their condoms.

Roderich would have liked to kiss Antonio more, but he seemed to have forgotten how to breathe through his nose. Breaking the kiss, he opened his eyes for a moment to look at Antonio. His lids were lowered, and Roderich noticed for the first time how long his lashes were.

 _Your pupils are almost black now, too,_ Roderich thought. It was reassuring, in a way, that he wasn’t the only one who was close. He suspected lack of sex had also ruined his stamina and it made him feel self-conscious.

Antonio wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close for another kiss. It felt less urgent than the first—sweeter, in a way—and perhaps this was why it took Roderich over the edge. Antonio continued to stroke him until he went limp, and Roderich felt so satisfied and comfortable he almost fell asleep.

That was when Antonio pulled off his own condom, revealing his hard, flushed cock. Roderich stared. He knew Antonio was putting on a show for him, keeping himself on the edge for much longer than Roderich would have deemed possible. Then again, Antonio’s clenching and unclenching abs were much stronger than Roderich’s; much better trained. The view would have made him hard again if that had been physically possible. In the end, Antonio came and was lying on his back, catching his breath.

“I see, workout pays off.” It sounded more deadpan than Roderich had intended, but it made Antonio chuckle. Roderich was surprised at the gratification he felt for making him laugh.

“I actually just have a dumbbell at home, and I do yoga sometimes. Don’t have the money for a studio ... More like, need to spend the money on my study expenses.”

“Your honesty is quite disarming.” Roderich grinned.

“And I thought it was _charming.”_ Antonio winked, and Roderich felt a tingle in his stomach. “Damn, I need to clean up this mess,” he then groaned but didn’t show any intention to move. Roderich snorted and produced a pack of tissues from the nightstand next to him.

“You don’t need to do this—”

“But I want to.” Post-coital tiredness gone, Roderich became quite efficient. He cleaned Antonio’s stomach, pulled off his own condom and found Antonio’s discarded one, knotted them both and went to the bathroom where he discarded them in the waste bin. His thighs felt still sensitive while he walked, but the feeling wasn’t unpleasant.

When he returned to the bed, Antonio’s eyes were closed and he was breathing regularly. Roderich crawled in and pulled a blanket over the both of them.

“Are you asleep?” he asked quietly.

“Not yet,” Antonio mumbled. “But I’m about to. Wanna cuddle?”

Roderich didn’t need to be told twice. He inched closer, resting his face in the crook of Antonio’s neck again, putting an arm around him.

“You’re full of surprises,” Antonio said.

“Am I?” Roderich didn’t think of himself like that.

“Yes.” Antonio’s tone was factual. “First, there was that short moment when you forgot what people might say if they knew what you were doing and what I might think about you.”

“Oh.” Roderich knew what he meant, but he was surprised how accurately Antonio was able to nail it down.

“You’re beautiful when you don’t think what people might think. So ... uninhibited.” Antonio hesitated.

Roderich blushed. He tried to remind himself that Antonio was probably just sweet-talking him, but he sounded so _honest..._

“And I really didn’t think you’d clean up. That’s ... not what I expect anybody to do.” He was avoiding to say “not what my clients are supposed to do,” but Roderich guessed it with ease. He assumed Antonio was not to mention his other customers in situations like these.

“Oh, that was nothing. I just don’t like when there’s a mess in my home, and that seems to extend to hotel rooms too.” After a pause, he added: “I mean, my score books are often scattered across the room, but what I don’t like is actual dirt or dust.”

“You’re cute.” Antonio giggled. “And _again,_ you’re thinking what I might be thinking. He pressed a casual kiss on Roderich’s mouth. “You seem to worry I might think you’re a stuck-up prig. Don’t. I never thought that.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” Antonio mumbled. Roderich sensed he was about to fall asleep. “The third thing is ... I didn’t expect you to hug me. Usually it’s the other way round. People want to be embraced.”

“People crave physical closeness,” Roderich objected. “It’s good to get a hug, but it’s also good to be the one who gives the hug. In the end, it’s a means of showing emotional support for each other.”

“How does that translate to our situation?” Antonio’s voice was sleepy, but there was a tinge of sarcasm in it.

“It may be your job to give other people physical love and emotional support, but I’m sure that’s what you need, too.”

There was no reply. Roderich couldn’t tell if Antonio had fallen asleep or if he was considering his words.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The first thing Roderich noticed when he awoke was that his position had changed. He was still in Antonio’s arms, but while they had fallen asleep chest-to-chest, he now found his back against Antonio’s chest.

The second thing he noticed was his morning boner. It had been weeks since he had awoken with a hard-on, but considering for how long he had gone without sex, that probably made sense.

He felt Antonio stir, and soon enough, there was a broad hand at his penis root.

“I was wondering...” Antonio mumbled.

“What?” Roderich asked even though he could imagine what Antonio might say.

“If your body remembered how nice it is to be touched.” That was more poetic than Roderich would have expected.

“As a matter of fact, it does.” Roderich couldn’t help being grumpy before he had had his morning coffee and it showed in his tone.

Antonio seemed undeterred. His hand started to move with sleepy idleness, caressing Roderich’s hips and thighs but not touching where Roderich had expected it to go. He squirmed as the only part of his body that wasn’t sleepy started to demand more attention.

The movements seemed to have awoken Antonio’s cock too. It was stirring between Roderich’s legs until Antonio pulled back with an annoyed groan.

“Goddamn it, where did I put my condoms?”

“I bet there’s at least one in the nightstand.” Roderich stretched, making the blanket fall to the side. It was chillier than underneath, but not cold. If anything, the room temperature only served to make him more awake.

He reached the nightstand and pulled the top drawer open. Sure enough, he found what they had been looking for. Roderich inspected it in the morning light that flickered through the window.

“Unexpired.” He turned it around. “It’s even self-lubricating. Swiss thoroughness be praised.”

“Did anyone ever tell you you’re smoking hot when you’re stretched out on a bed with a hard-on and a condom in your hand?” Antonio had pushed the blanket away and was now pulling Roderich back in his arms. Roderich snorted.

“You’re just saying— _Oh.”_ He felt Antonio press his hard dick between his legs. “I didn’t think you’d actually mean that.”

“I don’t praise anybody’s looks if there’s nothing to praise,” Antonio declared. Roderich turned around to cast a doubtful glance at him, complete with raised eyebrow. He was met with a hungry look that surprised him.

“You really do like sex, don’t you?”

“And you really don’t have a clue how hot you are, and it’s _frustrating!”_ Antonio growled. With one smooth movement, he pinned Roderich’s arms to the bed, crawling on top of him. Roderich looked at him in puzzlement. He hadn’t expected Antonio’s sudden change in tone, but he found that he wasn’t afraid either. He had come to trust Antonio, and that realisation was perhaps the greatest surprise of this morning.

“Honestly! You don’t know how pretty your face is.” He placed a kiss on Roderich’s front. “That untameable strand of hair is quite cute.” A kiss to Roderich’s hair. “That beauty mark next to your mouth attracts all looks.” Kiss to the beauty mark. “Your lips are naturally full.” Kiss to the lips. “It’s cute to watch your Adam’s apple bounce when you speak, especially when you’re excited.” Kiss to the throat. “Your chest is flat and slender, but believe me, that’s a body type a lot of people like, both men and women.” Antonio started to kiss his way down from Roderich’s chest, flicking his nipples with his tongue before resuming his path.

Roderich didn’t know if he could believe everything Antonio said, but the praise and the kisses were a massive turn-on. His breath quickened, and he was ready to be taken before Antonio had even reached his waistline.

“That little bit of chub around your waist is adorable,” Antonio continued his praise. He spoke so close to Roderich’s body that the words vibrated on his skin. When he kissed it, Roderich couldn’t hold back a moan. He remembered that he _shouldn’t_ hold it back either. Antonio continued as if nothing had happened.

“Your cock is shapely and your balls are so soft to the touch...” He touched one of them, and Roderich realised he was close just from this bit of sweet-talking. “Did you shave them just for me?” Antonio said. Roderich blushed.

“I always do that,” he said defensively.

“Oh, yeah. I forgot.” Antonio teased the other ball and Roderich wanted to shout at him to either touch him or fuck him, but to make it _quick._

Antonio showed no such intention. He turned Roderich around, pushing a cushion under his stomach so he didn’t need to lie on his erection. Then he brushed his fingers against the nape of his neck.

“Perfect grooming. Keeping up appearances even when no one’s there to see.” He kissed where his fingers had been, and Roderich shivered. “Perfectionism. That’s your way of trying to control your life.”

Roderich said nothing. It was true.

“Such a pity no one but me got to see your soft, round butt in so long.” Antonio’s hands gripped it and squeezed. That was almost enough to make Roderich come, and he moaned again, louder this time. He heard a fastener click and knew Antonio had found the lube. There was the sound of Antonio warming it in his hands, the feeling of his hands circling Roderich’s hole ... and then a frustrated groan.

“Man, you could at least finger yourself when you don’t have anybody to fuck you,” Antonio growled. Roderich couldn’t help it. He snickered uncontrollably.

“Sorry,” he managed to get out between two fits of laughter.

“Very convincing,” Antonio growled. A broad hand slapped Roderich’s butt lightly, and the vibrations made his snicker turn into a loud moan.

“Sorry,” Antonio apologised. “I didn’t ask you if you were okay with that.”

“It’s all right,” Roderich reassured him. “It didn’t hurt. But I’m going to come if you slap me again, so I wouldn’t recommend it.”

“Well,” Antonio mumbled. “Perhaps it’s not that bad you’re going to get a little break now.”

He stretched Roderich’s entrance with practiced ease, but it did take a while until he was able to put two and then three fingers in. Roderich tried to think of the lake and the mountains, pushing yesterday’s thoughts how nice it would be to feel Antonio inside of him to the back of his mind. He knew he wouldn’t last long, but he hoped he could at least avoid coming while Antonio had barely begun. There was a pause in which he heard Antonio open the pack of condoms and put it on, and his anticipation grew.

Antonio didn’t push in immediately. He cupped Roderich’s butt again, sliding his hands upwards to his shoulders. Roderich felt Antonio’s dick rub between his butt cheeks and wondered impatiently for how much longer Antonio wanted to keep him waiting.

When Roderich was about to tell him to hurry up, Antonio gently pressed the tip of his cock against Roderich’s entrance. Roderich shivered in anticipation. Then Antonio lowered himself gently, and Roderich focused on relaxing his body as well as he could.

“Are you okay?” Antonio wanted to know once he was inside of him.

“Yes.” Roderich sounded a little breathless. “But I wish I could look at you.”

“Your wish is my command.” Roderich couldn’t see it, but he was sure Antonio was winking. He felt him pull out again, and then Antonio helped him turn on his stomach and lift his legs on Antonio’s shoulders. They slipped to his waist when he pushed inside again, less gentle this time. Roderich gasped and his hands gripped Antonio’s hair much rougher than he had intended. Now it was Antonio who moaned, rocking his hips against Roderich more urgently.

The moment Antonio brushed against his prostrate took Roderich over the edge. He didn’t have the time to lament his lack of stamina. Antonio’s thrusts became more urgent, and all Roderich could do was dig his fingernails in Antonio’s shoulders and hold on. Antonio came with a shout and rolled to the side, pulling out of Roderich much more gently than what he had done before.

“Shit, sorry.” He sounded remorseful. “That ... I didn’t mean to...”

“So that’s how _you_ like your sex.” Roderich chuckled. “Hardly surprising you grew impatient with all that gentle coaxing and stroking.”

“You’re not cross with me?” Antonio blinked at him with that puppy dog smile Roderich had been unable to resist from the first time he saw it.

“No.” He smiled. “I was surprised, but that was hot.”

“You forgot there’s a hiking tour scheduled for this morning, right?” Antonio blinked, giving him a contrite smile. The piece of information sank in on Roderich.

“Oh, fuck.” He groaned, burying his face against the bed sheet. “That’s going to be nasty.”

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Antonio stared at him when he came out of the bathroom fully dressed. Roderich gave him a defiant glance, raising one eyebrow.

“Nothing,” Antonio said hurriedly. “It’s just ... unusual to see you like that.”

Roderich was wearing lederhosen and a traditional jerkin. It wasn’t his favourite attire, but Basch and Léa’s invitation had mentioned “hiking clothes (preferably traditional)”. That was why he had brought the only set of traditional clothing he owned. He had bought it when he was younger but rarely worn it. Traditional Alpine fashion wasn’t his style and his calves were by no means taut enough for the white knee-length socks that were part of it.

“I don’t know if I like that, but it compliments the shape of your butt.” Antonio took a step forward and slapped it while Roderich walked past. Roderich tried to glare at him, but Antonio’s only reaction was an amused chuckle.

Walking downstairs to the breakfast room, Roderich noticed that the hike might turn out less nasty than he had worried. He still felt where Antonio had stretched him, but it didn’t hurt. Antonio had been careful enough.

They filled their plates and sat down at a larger table where Erika and Henri were putting their heads together. Several pieces of paper were spread out in front of them. Erika held a pen in her right hand, writing and editing.

“Is that for the wedding speech?” Roderich inquired as they took their seats. Erika looked up.

“Oh, Uncle Roderich! Good morning!” She gave him the brightest smile. “Yes, it is! We’re still not done, and I think we need to shorten a few passages. We want to make it as entertaining as possible.”

“I’m curious!” Roderich put butter and jam on a slice of bread while he waited for his coffee to cool off a little.

“It’s a bit of a challenge,” Henri added. “Sebastian isn’t exactly the funniest person alive.” Erika was about to purse her lips when he added: “I mean, that’s not a bad thing. He’s serious and reliable, and these are good qualities for a husband. But it’s difficult to write a witty wedding speech for someone like him.” Erika relaxed.

“Well, there’s still the thing about the pink pyjama and—”

“Shhh,” Henri interrupted her. “Don’t spoil the best parts for them!”

“You’re right.” Erika took her chair, inching a little closer to Henri. Roderich couldn’t understand their next words because they started to whisper.

“They’re so dedicated about their speech,” Antonio mused.

“I’m sure it’s going to be excellent.” Roderich smiled.

Then another person seated himself at their table, and they looked up.

“Hi, I’m Francis,” a blonde man about their age introduced himself to them.

“Oh yes, I know,” Roderich said coolly. “The exhibitionist.”

“Man, it’s been _ten years!”_ Francis whined.

“The _what?”_ Antonio interjected.

“He undressed at a party Basch and me attended and yelled something about living for love,” Roderich explained.

“In my defence, I had taken a bit too much and I was pretty horny.” Francis smiled at them under long lashes.

“I don’t think the word ‘defence’ goes together well with the rest of your sentence,” Roderich said haughtily.

“Man, come on! I learned my lesson and I didn’t do any drugs ever since!”

Roderich raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, okay, I smoke and I drink quite a lot of wine, but, you know … no illegal drugs anymore.”

“Good.” Roderich focused on his coffee, testing the temperature with his hands. He deemed it drinkable.

“I mean, look … Do you think Bastien would have invited me if I hadn’t been clean for years?”

“That’s a valid point.” Roderich sipped on his coffee.

“I mean it’s not like we’ve become best friends,” Francis mused. “I think I got his invitation as a peace offering.”

“Oh?” Roderich halted his cup of coffee in mid-air. Then he admitted: “Well, I suppose I got the same. Peace offering, I mean.”

“Interesting.” Francis regarded him with curiosity. “The guy who always seemed like a stuck-up conservative but ran away to do his own thing…” He turned to Antonio with an equally curious expression. “And who is now here with this insanely attractive guy he calls his partner.”

Roderich’s heart missed a beat. Had this Francis guy seen through their charade just like that?

“He doesn’t _call_ me his partner,” Antonio came to the rescue. “He _is_ my partner.”

“Yes. My bad.” Francis gave him a look that was difficult to read. “Maybe it’s just hard for me to believe that the stuck-up guy from my youth isn’t just openly gay but with the hottest dude I’ve seen in a long time.” He glanced at Antonio, flirting shamelessly. Roderich frowned.

“Bisexual,” he corrected. “I’m not gay. I’m bisexual, and being in a relationship with a man doesn’t make me any less bi.”

“Really?” Francis blinked. “Wow, guess we just discovered the one thing we have in common!”

Roderich grumbled something unintelligible, but Antonio put an arm around him. Roderich was surprised at the calming effect the simple gesture had on him.

“That makes three of us,” Antonio informed Francis, smiling in the boyish way Roderich had always found irresistible. It seemed to have the same effect on Francis.

“That only makes you more interesting to me!” He gave Antonio a flirtatious smile. “And you must be really good in bed too, judging from the sounds I woke up to this morning.”

Roderich stared at Francis in shock. He didn’t need to look to know they now had Erika and Henri’s undivided attention, too. His cheeks started to burn.

“I’m sorry if we were a bit too loud this morning,” Antonio said calmly. “We didn’t mean to wake anybody.” He didn’t let go of Roderich, and Roderich was glad for it.

Francis was about to make another comment when a new person arrived at their table. It was a tall young man, blonde and square-shouldered.

“Excuse me, is this seat taken?” The deep voice that came out of his mouth didn’t quite match his reluctant tone.

“No, it’s free.” Erika was the first to react. “Please sit down.”

“I’m not coming at an inconvenient moment, am I?” The newcomer looked at Roderich whose cheeks were still burning, then at Francis.

“No, not at all.” Francis pulled the chair back for the tall man. “I don’t think I know you?” he asked as soon as the newcomer had sat down.

“You may not remember me, but I remember you,” the young man said in his deep voice. “I was still little when we last saw each other.” That was when the penny dropped for Roderich.

 _“Ludwig?”_ he said in astonishment. “Small, shy, well-mannered Ludwig Beilschmidt?”

“Yes,” Ludwig said, casting down his eyes in an almost bashful way.

“Amazing,” said Francis, staring at this brick of a man in fascination. Roderich, for his part, was glad the general attention had shifted from him to Ludwig.

“Who is this?” whispered Antonio in his ear.

“His father and Basch’s are friends,” Roderich explained quietly. “Ludwig sometimes came for a visit with his father, and that’s how Basch and me got to know him. Francis too, as it seems. He’s about Erika’s age and used to be very shy and serious and quiet as a boy.”

“I think he still is,” said Antonio. “It’s just ... His body doesn’t quite match his behaviour anymore, isn’t it?”

“That’s very true.” Roderich regarded Ludwig with curiosity. The young man was answering Francis’ questions about his life in the past years. His cheeks were a bit rosy from the apparently unusual attention he received.

Was that all there was? Roderich looked closer.

“What does that frown between your eyebrows mean?” Antonio traced it with a finger.

“I was just wondering ... Are they _flirting?”_

Antonio looked in Roderich’s direction. Placing a casual kiss on Roderich’s cheekbone, he nodded.

“They are indeed. It’s a bit subtle and I’m not sure Ludwig realises what’s going on, but yes, that’s what they’re doing.”

“Well.” Roderich lifted his slice of bread and jam to his mouth. “At least Francis isn’t flirting with you anymore.”

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Half an hour later, the wedding guests were standing in front of the hotel, waiting for a few latecomers. It was only now that Antonio had changed into his hiking outfit. Roderich wasn’t surprised to find he was wearing modern hiking shorts, a red and black chequered shirt, and the backpack of a popular Swedish manufacturer. While Roderich’s hiking boots were from a well-known Austrian brand—the most modern item of clothing he was wearing—Antonio simply had running shoes on his feet.

“The fashionable student hiker,” Roderich teased. “I see, I see.”

“Well, and you’re The True Native, I guess,” Antonio countered. “There’s just the gamsbart hat missing.”

“And the brown leather shoes,” Roderich added. “But I prefer my shoes to be more functional. Lighter too.”

Someone clapping their hands ended their discussion about their hiking outfits. It was Léa, dressed in black _Bernertracht,_ traditional clothing typical for the canton of Bern. She was calling for everyone’s attention. When the chatter surrounding them had subsided, Basch, dressed in black trousers and _Berner Mutz_ —a black, red-rimmed traditional jerkin—started to explain the route they would take.

“It’s a fairly easy hike,” he told his guests. “We’re going to walk a bit alongside the lake and then uphill. There’s a passage those of us who are faster can take as an extension that will be a bit steeper, but the rest of the route shouldn’t be a problem for anybody. I assume it’ll take us about two to three hours, so we should be back at lunchtime.”

“Better make that three to four,” Roderich whispered to Antonio. He checked his watch. It was shortly after nine.

“We’d still make it back for lunch if it was a four-hour hike,” Antonio reassured him. Roderich nodded.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Roderich walked alongside Erika while Antonio was bouncing back and forth, gushing about the beauty of Lake Geneva and taking photos with a camera he had had in his backpack.

“Your boyfriend is cute,” Erika said with a smile.

“Yes.” Roderich’s lips quirked upwards. “Cute like a puppy dog.” Erika followed his gaze, observing the way Antonio acted.

“I mean you’re not wrong.” She grinned. “But what I wanted to say was ... the way he was protective of you when your mom was talking with you and when Francis was teasing you. That was so sweet.”

“Hm,” Roderich hummed his consent. He was still embarrassed Erika had overheard a comment about him having sex. In his opinion, that was just nothing relatives should be confronted with, especially not delicate nineteen-year-olds like Erika. And if she found out Antonio was, in fact, not his boyfriend but an escort boy ... He avoided thinking further in that direction.

Antonio spared him an answer. He rushed back to them, holding the camera like a trophy in both hands.

“It’s so beautiful here!” he exclaimed. “I’m so glad I came here with you, Roderich.” Roderich blushed.

“I’m glad you like it,” he said. “Even if part of our company...”

“Our current companion is the sweetest person I could think of,” Antonio interrupted him. He took Erika’s hand and breathed a kiss on her knuckles. “Other than you, of course.” He winked at Roderich.

“Oh, Erika, there you are!” they heard a voice from behind. Turning around, they saw Henri, dressed quite similar to Antonio, just with chequers in blue and black. He held a notebook under his arm.

“Let me guess,” Roderich said to him. “You’re working on that wedding speech even now.”

“Indeed!” Henri exclaimed. “I just had the best idea, Erika, and I need to tell it to someone!” He took Erika’s arm, walking forwards with her until they were out of earshot. Roderich shook his head in disbelief.

“I think they’re overdoing it a bit with that speech,” he told Antonio. “They should just relax a little...”

“Don’t you see it?” Antonio interrupted him. “He’s trying to flirt with her. I mean, he isn’t very good at it, but he’s trying.”

“Really?” Roderich blinked. “But Erika is only...”

“Nineteen,” Antonio interrupted him. “She’s nineteen, right? Old enough to make her own decisions—and to decide if she wants her future brother-in-law as her future boyfriend.” He paused. “There’s no law against romantic relationships between affines in Switzerland, is there?”

“Not to my knowledge...” Roderich thought. “I just know that affinity is an impediment to marriage under Catholic canon law, but I think people who are not biologically related are usually dispensed nowadays ... It’s probably the same for most branches of Protestantism, but I don’t know enough about that.”

“Probably less difficult than easing restrictions about gay marriage,” Antonio said with a shrug. “At least if the in-laws are of the opposite gender.”

“Indeed,” Roderich agreed. “That’s against canon law too, but no one will dispense you of your gender. I guess if either of us want a church wedding, we’d need to—how did my mother put it?—look for a nice girl to marry.”

“I’m not that much of a believer anyway.” Antonio shrugged again. “Civil marriage would be enough for me, and that’s what we have in Austria now.”

“That’s fair,” said Roderich. “As for me, I’d have a church wedding if I ended up with a woman and if she wanted it too, and I’d have a civil wedding only if I ended up with a man and if he wanted marriage too.”

“That’s a lot of _if_ s,” Antonio pointed out. “But also a very practical approach.”

“Well, I _can_ be practical.” Roderich laughed.

In a sudden change of mood, Antonio turned around and planted a kiss on his lips. Roderich was surprised, but he allowed it to linger until Antonio broke away.

“You’re so beautiful when you laugh,” Antonio said quietly. Roderich held his gaze until they stepped back almost at the same time. Behind them, some other hikers from their wedding party came into view, and Antonio and Roderich resumed their walk as if nothing had happened.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

They walked alongside each other until a fork in the path came into view. Some people were standing in front of the signposts, debating which way to choose.

“I’m taking the path to the left,” Basch declared. “It’s the more difficult detour I was talking about earlier. Who’s coming with me?” He looked around. “Ludwig? You look pretty athletic.”

“Yes, I’m coming with you!” the shy man with the deep voice consented. He was dressed in Bavarian lederhosen even though his family came from North Rhine-Westphalia, as far as Roderich remembered.

“Me too!” Francis said immediately. He was dressed as the “fashionable hiker”, with the latest and most expensive functional clothing. Roderich wasn’t surprised.

“I’m taking the path to the right,” Léa said. “Are you coming with me or with your brother, Erika?”

“With you!” Erika said. “My brother is faster than me. I’d only walk behind him anyway.”

“I’m coming with you, too!” Henri told Léa, quite unsurprisingly, after what Antonio had observed.

“Let’s take the path to the right, too!” Antonio suggested.

“That’s probably for the best.” Roderich smiled. “I quite like hiking, but I remember it wasn’t so funny when I last followed Basch while he was running up another mountain.”

“Then let’s go to Léa!” Antonio took Roderich’s hand and walked towards the little group surrounding her.

A warm feeling flooded through Roderich. Antonio’s hand in his felt good; pleasantly warm and soothing. He was suddenly yearning for a hug but felt too self-conscious to ask for one while so many other people were present.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Neither showed the slightest inclination to let go of each other, and so they walked along hand in hand.

“Nature is so beautiful here,” Antonio said eventually. “I never tire of looking at it.” The uphill passage allowed them several fantastic views on the lake from some distance and Antonio was savouring them with his eyes.

“This whole experience is beautiful,” Roderich said. He paused to enjoy one of those pretty views. When Antonio stopped as well, Roderich took his chance and leaned against him. Sure enough, Antonio was taking him in his arms, holding him close and rubbing circles over his shoulder blades.

After a while they moved apart in silence, but now there was a hand around Roderich’s waist. It remained in place until the path became rockier and they needed both hands to balance out their weight.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

In the end, Basch’s estimate of two to three hours for the hike turned out to be almost right, at least for the group that hadn’t taken the detour: It was shortly after twelve when they returned to the hotel.

“How strange,” said Léa when Roderich and Antonio had arrived. “It’s very unusual for Basch to be slower than me. Normally, he takes the longer route but overtakes me on it and still arrives first.”

“I hope nothing has happened,” Erika said with concern.

That was when a group of hikers came into view. One of them was leaning against the other, having visible difficulty to walk.

“Oh dear!” exclaimed Léa. “Looks like someone has tripped!”

“That’s Francis, isn’t it?” said Erika.

Francis was limping closer, leaning perhaps a bit more heavily against Ludwig than strictly necessary.

“Do you think he really tripped?” Roderich whispered to Antonio. “Or did he pretend to trip in order to get closer to Ludwig?”

“I don’t know,” Antonio replied quietly. “But we’re going to find out soon enough.” Louder, he said: “I’m just a medicine student, but I’d trust myself to take a look at Francis’ foot and decide if he’d better go to the doctor with his injury.”

“That would be lovely,” Léa said gratefully. “Thank you, Antonio.”

Ludwig helped Francis sit on a chair, and Antonio kneeled in front of him, examining his leg.

“It’s just a sprained ankle,” he said after a while. “It should stop hurting during the next two days, but I wouldn’t recommend dancing much this evening.”

“Oh.” Francis looked crestfallen. “I was _so_ looking forward to dance with all the beautiful people here...” Antonio sighed.

“I can put a light bandage around your foot to stabilise the ankle, but you really shouldn’t put too much weight onto it today if you want it to heal quickly.”

“Thank you so much!” Francis smiled at Antonio, fluttering his long eyelashes. Roderich felt a burning and entirely unreasonable twinge of jealousy. Antonio, for his part, ignored Francis, turning to Ludwig instead.

“Can you help him go to the dining room?” he said. “I’m sure his sprain still hurts.”

“Yes, of course!” Ludwig helped Francis out of the chair with the practiced ease of a person experienced in geriatric nursing. Roderich wondered if there was a story behind the fluency of Ludwig’s movements, but this wasn’t the moment to ask.

“How did this even happen?” Léa asked Basch in an undertone of reproach.

“Dumb guy overestimated himself and chose the more difficult route when he had no prior experience in hiking,” Basch grumbled. “It went fairly well for the most part, but towards the end, he tripped when he had to climb over some particularly steep rock.”

“Oh,” Léa said in comprehension. “Lack of body tension?”

“Not even that. He just didn’t keep his eyes on the path.” Basch harrumphed.

“I bet he was staring at Ludwig’s butt or something like that,” Antonio whispered to Roderich. Roderich pressed his lips together so as not to snort.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Lunch was delicious, but it would have been more pleasant if Roderich’s mother hadn’t been placed diagonally across from them. She tried to “talk some sense into my son,” as she called it, killing the conversations of everyone in the vicinity. Roderich tried to ignore her. It was difficult, especially when she insulted his passion for music and his choice to pursue it as a career for the umpteenth time. Roderich knew he would have failed if it wasn’t for Antonio—Antonio who leaned his leg against Roderich’s, giving Roderich’s hand a reassuring squeeze whenever his mother’s nagging became particularly aggressive.

In the end, the meal passed without an opportunity for Roderich to actually enjoy it. The deliciously soft slices of sirloin left a stale taste in his mouth. He was sure they would have been delicious if it wasn’t for his emotional turmoil.

After the meal, Roderich fled out of the hotel, leaning against its wall and taking deep breaths of fresh mountain air. Ten years ago he would have pulled on a cigarette, but he had stopped smoking as soon as he had moved out. He had never liked the stench on his clothes in the first place, but it had been one way to distance himself from his health-obsessed mother.

Erika was the first to find him. She seated herself on the wooden bench next to him, waiting until he acknowledged her presence with a look in her direction.

“I’m sorry, Uncle Roderich,” she said softly. “I thought it would be a good idea to place the two of you not too far apart so you could maybe get into conversation...”

“It’s not your fault.” Roderich’s voice sounded hoarse. He bit the inside of his cheek, realising he was on the verge of crying. _Pull yourself together,_ he told himself. He didn’t want to break down in front of Erika.

Erika seemed to sense what was going on inside of him. She got up, standing on tiptoe to pull him into an embrace that truly deserved the term “motherly.” That was too much for him. He couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down his face, sobbing into Erika’s hair.

Erika held him until his sobs subsided. Then she stepped back, dipping her handkerchief in the icy mountain water that streamed from a wooden well nearby. She washed the traces of tears from Roderich’s burning face, cooling it at the same time. Roderich then dried it with a tissue.

“Look.” Erika held her hand mirror in front of his face. “You practically don’t see it anymore.” Roderich’s face was still red; his eyes still a little swollen. But it wasn’t obvious that he had cried.

“Thank you.” He gave his cousin a firm hug. She planted a quick kiss on his cheek. Then she turned, vanishing with a fluttering plaid skirt.

“Roderich?”

He flinched.

“Since when have you been standing here?” Roderich asked anxiously.

“Long enough.” Antonio stepped closer, taking Roderich’s hand in his. They embraced without actually thinking about it, Antonio rubbing soothing circles on Roderich’s back. Roderich held onto him, breaking away only to change the position of his hands in order to pull him even closer.

Eventually, they moved apart. Antonio cupped Roderich’s face, kissing him on the lips.

“Ready to face them again?”

“Yes.” Roderich gave him a sheepish smile. “Ready to beard the lion in his den.”

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

They didn’t need to beard any lions. Roderich’s mother had retreated, Léa informed them, apparently for a beauty sleep or a walk. As it seemed, people had talked some sense into her after Roderich had left.

“Friends!” Basch exclaimed, calling for attention. “We’ve organised a shuttle to Geneva for those of you who’d like to see the inner city. Please gather in front of the hotel in half an hour if you’re interested. Other than that, the hotel offers guided nature walks, if you’d like to continue your hiking experience; some outdoor games such as mini golf and table tennis; a wide variety of board games ... What else?” He turned to Léa, seeking help.

“There are leaflets in the hotel lobby if you’d like to get an extensive overview,” said his fiancée. “Whatever you decide to do, please make sure to be back at the hotel at seven for our pre-wedding festival.”

“We didn’t want to make separate stag and a hen’s nights,” Léa explained. “Instead we’re inviting everyone for dinner and dance.” Some guests started to clap, and soon everyone chimed in.

“I’m sure you want to see Geneva, don’t you?” Roderich asked Antonio as soon as the clapping had died away.

“That would be lovely!” Antonio gave him one of his puppy dog smiles. Roderich smiled back.

“Then let’s take a shower and change into ... more suitable clothes.” He gestured at his traditional wear.

“That’s a great idea!” Antonio exclaimed. He was halfway up the stairs when Roderich only just started to follow him.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The “shuttle” turned out to be two rented nine seaters driven by Basch and Erika. Roderich and Antonio ended up sitting next to each other in Basch’s van. Neither of them was inclined to talk about what had happened during lunch with several other people present, and so they sat in silence, listening to two German women talking about their past travels to Switzerland.

After the third “Everything was so clean!” Antonio’s head slumped against the hollow between Roderich’s head and shoulders. At first Roderich wasn’t sure if Antonio was aware of the position in which he was sleeping. Then a hand went up and down his side, feeling out the shape of his body, and it became clear. When Antonio snuggled up to him, Roderich put an arm around his shoulder, keeping him close.

 _We’re doing pretty well when it comes to playing a couple._ The thought crossed Roderich’s mind out of the blue and he pondered over it for a while. Antonio was an unquestionably beautiful man with a large amount of experience in coaxing a reluctant partner to acknowledge their desires. He was thoughtful and supportive, bestowing occasional hugs and casual kisses on his partner. In short, he did everything someone like Roderich needed, in terms of physical love and beyond.

 _I wish this wasn’t just him being professional._ The thought was there before Roderich could push it to the back of his mind. It was the truth, he admitted to himself after a while. Antonio worked to make him overcome his insecurities about his looks and to make him feel loved. That was all he had ever hoped to get in a relationship.

In fact, it was more than that. He would have contented himself just with the feeling of being in love with someone and the hope of being loved back. He didn’t expect anybody to try to ease his insecurities. Instead he had simply hoped they wouldn’t get in the way of his love life. Antonio had showed him that there was a lot more to hope for in a relationship.

Then again, there were also the things Antonio wasn’t able to fulfil that were in the very nature of his job: Someone to come to Roderich’s performances regularly just to cheer him on. Someone who waited for him when he came home from rehearsals. Someone who gave him a hug whenever he needed one. In short, someone in his everyday life who was there every day and all year long. Of course no escort could ever fulfil that craving.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

When they arrived, an elderly lady picked them up and showed them some major tourist attractions: Parts of the old city wall; the pedestrian area in the Grande Rue; the city hall; St Pierre Cathedral that had been completed in the thirteenth century; the Place du Bourg-de-Four; the Collège Calvin, a school the Protestant reformer Jean Calvin had founded in 1559...

“The _Jardin Anglais_ is where our little tour will come to an end,” the woman said when they had arrived at the beginning of an English landscape garden. “It was created in the mid-nineteenth century and it is located at the place of our city’s ancient harbour. From the park’s promenade, you will get a good view on Lake Geneva and its famous water fountain. Please look out for the great sundial made of flowers and the beautiful pavilion near the promenade as well.”

They applauded their tour guide and entered the landscape garden. The attendees of their little excursion were soon scattered across the garden, exploring it at their own pace.

“This is a very pretty city,” said Roderich when they were alone.

“It’s amazing!” Antonio explained. “I’d love to see the sights at the north shore of the river Rhône sometime, too.”

“That would be lovely!” Roderich agreed. “It’s a pity we have so little time to get to know Geneva, but I think Basch and Léa already did their best to make the most of our stay at the lake.”

“That’s very true!” Antonio exclaimed. “They’re both incredibly considerate and caring, even if I think the one who’s truly amazing is Erika.”

“She is!” Roderich said empathically. “She has always been a compassionate and caring child and she has become a fine young woman.”

“Speaking of Erika...”

Roderich braced himself. He had known all along this moment would come.

“It was wonderful of her to comfort you when you were crying. In all honesty, I’m impressed for how long you were able to keep a stiff upper lip when your mother talked you down so harshly.” That wasn’t what Roderich had expected.

“I thought you’d scold me for crying too easily!”

“You don’t cry easily,” said Antonio in a matter-of-fact tone. “I think you cried because ... Well, because it was cathartic for you, in a way.” He paused. “Crying at a loved one’s shoulder is not a weakness. It’s what we need sometimes to come to terms with an experience.”

“And again, you sound like a psychologist.” Roderich gave him a crooked smile. “I wonder why that is. You didn’t study it in addition to all your other subjects, or did you?”

“No, I didn’t.” Antonio laughed. “But unless you’re a completely insensitive block of wood, you’ll pick up a few things...”

“As a medicine student or as an escort?”

Antonio didn’t reply at once. He gave Roderich an inquisitive look. After a while, he seemed to decide Roderich’s question deserved an answer.

“I think it’s an ability that’s good for both, but I ... came into a few situations as an escort no one had prepared me to deal with. I was pretty overwhelmed with stuff people confided to me and didn’t know how to react. There was a situation once where I was sure I fucked up badly.” He gave Roderich a contrite smile. “That’s why I started to read up on a few things. Basically ... how to become better at listening to people. How to give some comfort without making suggestions what someone should or shouldn’t do. I needed to learn that I’m not in a position to do that.”

They reached the promenade from which they had a wonderful view on Lake Geneva. Antonio was distracted by the fountain that shot up high into the air. He rushed closer to the lake, taking a few photos.

Roderich expected their conversation to turn to different topics when Antonio came back to him, but Antonio continued as if there had been no interruption.

“Sometimes it works better and sometimes ... not at all.” He took Roderich’s hand. “With you ... I’m still not sure. Probably not that good because I’ve been too intrusive at least twice and because you keep mentioning I sound like a psychologist.”

“Maybe it’s just...” Roderich hesitated. “I’m just not used to actual conversations about private topics. Conversations in which the other person isn’t shouting at me, I mean.”

They had reached the end of the promenade and turned towards the spot where their guided tour had ended.

“I’m pretty close to my colleagues, but not close enough to talk about details of my private life with them. What is more, I avoid thinking about my family for the most part,” Roderich admitted. “It’s unusual for me to be in a situation in which the topic comes up inevitably.” They were passing by the flower sundial and he gazed at it, lost in thought. “In any case, I ... think it’s okay if you say intrusive things. I mean I can still decide not to answer if I’m uncomfortable with talking about something.”

“Thank you. I still believe I should get a better grasp of what to say and what to remain silent about.” Antonio gave him a crooked smile. “It’s just ... I think I’m getting quite emotionally invested in your relationship to your family. There are all these kind people, like Erika and Basch, and then there’s your mother who is so ... I don’t know. Unforgiving of the way you strayed from the path through life she had envisioned for you?”

Roderich thought about that. He stopped, looking back at the flower clock.

“I suppose that’s exactly it,” he said at last. “I think she wanted me to earn a lot of money, marry a pretty wife and give her one or two well-mannered grandchildren. Basically what Basch is about to do. Maybe that’s why she is particularly aggressive now that she sees her useless son in a gay relationship and, right next to him, the successful investment banker with his beautiful fiancée.”

“Do you think you would have fared better if you had chosen a female escort?”

“Maybe.” Roderich walked back to the flower sundial. “But the thing is, I wanted to provoke my mom. I wanted to show her that I’ll never be the way she imagined me to become.” He added quietly: “I just wasn’t prepared for her rejection to hurt so much even after all these years.”

“I’m sorry.” Antonio’s tone was heartfelt. Then he added: “May I ask where your father is? You mentioned cutting ties with your parents, but I’ve only met your mother so far.”

“My father...” Roderich sighed. “My father has mostly been an absence in my childhood, even when I didn’t go to the boarding school. He works for an international enterprise and often travels to conferences all around the world. His schedule is tight, and I remember only one holiday that we spent together. He’s probably on some business trip now, too.” Roderich gave Antonio a strained smile. “It wasn’t difficult to leave him as well when I left my parents’ house. He has never been there to begin with.”

“That sounds tough.” Antonio took Roderich’s hand between his and caressed it. “I wish I could give you the love and affection you didn’t get from your parents, but I’m afraid that is beyond my power.”

“It’s okay.” Roderich gave Antonio a soft smile. “You already did a lot for me. You helped me make some steps to overcome my self-consciousness and you gave me hugs and kisses when I needed a little emotional support. That’s much more than I had hoped for.”

Antonio didn’t get to reply. They both lifted their heads when they heard someone call out their names.

“Roderich! Antonio!” It was Henri. He rushed towards them, stopping right in front of them.

“Sorry for interrupting, but my sister just suggested walking around at the other shore of the Rhône for a bit. Do you want to come with us?”

“Sure!” Antonio switched from compassionate listener to excited traveller in the blink of an eye. Roderich couldn’t help laughing as he witnessed that change.

“Wonderful!” Henri beamed at them. “We’re meeting up at the entrance to the park. And now please excuse me; I need to go find some other people too.”

“I think there’s someone we forgot to include him when we were talking about the nice people of your family,” Antonio pointed out when Henri was out of earshot.

“Well, he’ll only be a member of my family after the wedding, but I agree.” Roderich smiled.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Visiting the other half of the city took a while, and so it was quarter to seven when they arrived back at the hotel. That left them little time to freshen up and dress for the evening, but somehow Antonio and Roderich managed to be only five minutes late. Roderich was wearing a dark purplish dress suit with a white jabot and a white dress handkerchief Antonio had called “gay” the moment he saw them. Antonio, for his part, was dressed in a beige-coloured suit with brown bow tie, belt and shoes that made Roderich tease there was only the flat cap missing to round out the headman aesthetic.

“Perhaps we should have talked about matching outfits beforehand,” Antonio said sheepishly while they were walking down the stairs.

“Maybe.” Roderich wasn’t so sure. “But maybe it’s better this way. You’re wearing something that suits you and I’m wearing something that suits me.”

“You’re wearing something that’s making you hot in a way that’s definitely not straight.”

“Well.” Roderich winked. “I am definitely not straight.”

Antonio pouted a bit, like a little boy that had sweets taken from him. Roderich smiled to himself. He enjoyed moments in which he was quick on the comeback, and Antonio’s reaction was amusing.

They followed a few other guests to the back of the hotel. There was a large garden facing the lakeside; the same they also saw from the window of their hotel room. The hotel staff had arranged a large buffet to both sides of the back door and assembled a long table in between the building and the shore. At one end of the table, there was a wooden stage with a garlanded railing to all sides except the one closest to the table.

“Looks like today’s dance floor will be the stage for tomorrow’s wedding speeches,” observed Antonio.

“Exactly!”

They turned around to see a beaming Léa, robed in a low-cut red frilly dress that complimented her feminine curves. Roderich shot Antonio a warning glance. He remembered well where his escort’s eyes had strayed the first time they met her. In turn, Antonio gave him the most innocent puppy dog smile he had ever seen. Roderich didn’t believe one bit of it, but the only reaction he could muster was a mocking smile. Antonio was too adorable when he gave him this look.

“If the weather remains as fine as it is now, we’re going to have a wedding feast in the open!” Léa told them, seemingly unaware of the glances they exchanged. “I’d love that! This place is beautiful in the evening, but even more so in plain daylight.”

“I’m sure that would be wonderful!” Roderich smiled back at her. “I wish you a lovely evening, Léa.”

“Thank you, and the same to you two.” Still beaming, Léa rushed to her fiancé who was standing at the side of the table that was closest to the wooden stage.

Henri tapped his spoon against an empty glass, calling everyone’s attention for the engaged couple. Basch began to speak. Thankfully for all the hungry people gathered around him, he was a man of few words.

“Stag parties are not my thing, but hiking is. Likewise, hen’s nights aren’t Léa’s thing, but a delicious meal with music and dance is. That’s why we booked DJ Cleo II”—he gestured to a young woman with blonde, wavy hair, green eyes and large earrings in the form of leaves who was standing behind a mixing desk—“who will take us on a journey through the past fifty years of pop and rock music. We hope you’re going to enjoy your meal and have a pleasant time on the dance floor.”

The guests applauded, but not for very long because they were all flocking to the buffet. Roderich took some seafood salad as a starter, and Antonio did the same. Opened bottles of white wine were brought to the table by the hotel staff, possibly to avoid spilling and broken glasses.

“This is delicious,” Antonio said enthusiastically when they had taken their seeds. This time, they were seated far away from Roderich’s mother; close to the dance floor and to Basch and Léa.

“It really is!” Roderich agreed, sipping on the wine for the first time.

“Merveilleux, n’est-ce pas, mon cher?”

Roderich looked up, finding Francis seated opposite of them. He realised he was referring to the wine as well.

“Yes, it’s excellent,” he agreed.

“Would you like some too, my dear?” Francis was holding the bottle towards Ludwig’s glass who was sitting next to him.

“Oh, um—yes, if it’s not too much trouble,” the shy young man stumbled. Francis filled his glass and handed it to him.

“Santé!” He was locking eyes with Ludwig while they were clinking their classes. Ludwig seemed confused, but he didn’t look away either.

“Looks like they’re trying to advance their relationship,” Antonio whispered. Roderich nodded.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The food was enticing and so were the varieties of wine that were served to them over the course of the evening. The meal adhered to French standards, which meant that it lasted for several hours and involved a lot of talk about various topics. Roderich was chatting with his neighbour to the left, a middle-aged man who was curious about Roderich’s career in the orchestra; Antonio charmed a woman next to him who reminisced about her own student days. They were also talking to each other, but mostly about the high quality of the food and the amusing wooing they could watch right in front of them.

Francis hand that had casually touched Ludwig’s arm from time to time had come to rest on his elbow, and they were both leaning closer to each other while they were talking. Eventually, Francis pulled Ludwig out of his chair, dragging him to the dance floor.

“But I can’t really dance!” Ludwig protested.

“Don’t worry!” Francis reassured him. “I’m going to show you.”

“Should we join them on the dance floor?” Antonio asked.

Roderich hesitated. They were sated and it was clear that neither of them was much inclined to eat anymore. Roderich had reached a pleasant stage of tipsiness, but he wasn’t drunk and he knew what to do on a dance floor. If they were talking about standard dances, that was.

“Oh, come on, please!” Antonio begged, giving him his best puppy dog smile. “I was so looking forward to dance with you!”

“Yes but...” Roderich didn’t know how to phrase it best. “I’m not really the type for jumping around on a dance floor. I’m more...”

“The standard dance type, I know,” Antonio completed the sentence for him. “Don’t worry, I know how to dance.” He winked. “Actually, that’s one of my many fortes.”

“Wonderful.” Roderich smiled. “Then let’s go!”

They both turned out to be well-versed dancers; experienced enough to know both male and female steps of several types of standard dances. Dancing with Antonio was a pleasure, and Roderich found himself getting lost in these green eyes.

Glancing to the side, he found Francis and Ludwig slow dancing, swaying to the music much closer to each other than any standard dance would have warranted. He started to wonder to what extent the way he was looking at Antonio differed from the way they were looking at each other. Was he falling for Antonio?

Then Antonio swept him away in a twirl, and the thought was gone while he focused on their movements. _This is so pleasant because he knows exactly what he’s doing,_ he told himself.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Some time later, they were sitting on a bench close to the exterior wall of the hotel, Antonio’s arm around his shoulders.

“I’m starting to get tired,” Antonio mumbled, his breath warm against Roderich’s throat.

“It’s pretty late, yes,” Roderich said. “But it’s so lovely here...”

“Yes, this evening was gorgeous,” Antonio whispered. His hot breath made Roderich’s stomach tingle. “Gorgeous food; gorgeous wine; a gorgeous time on the dance floor with the gorgeous man right next to me.” Antonio’s final words sent a hot spark through Roderich’s stomach.

“I want to sleep with you,” he said without thinking.

“Me too.” Antonio took Roderich’s face in his hands. “I want to feel you inside of me so I will always remember this evening.”

Part of Roderich wanted to point out that “always” was, again, an exaggeration, but it stood no chance against the part of his mind that was both enchanted and aroused. He nodded, rising from the bench and pulling Antonio up with him.

“I like it when you’re so eager.” Antonio giggled. Roderich smiled, and they walked into the hotel hand in hand.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The shortest way upstairs ran through a hallway and the breakfast room. They were about to enter the room when Antonio pulled Roderich behind the doorframe, putting a finger on his lips in order to signal him to be quiet. Roderich gazed into the room, curious why Antonio had halted them all of a sudden.

There were Francis and Ludwig, the latter leaning against a table and the former standing very close to him. Ludwig was rubbing his neck in a sheepish gesture.

“What are they doing?” Antonio’s head appeared right next to Roderich’s.

“Shh,” whispered Roderich.

“I ... don’t really know what to say,” Ludwig mumbled. They almost didn’t hear it because his tone was so deep and quiet.

“Please don’t tell me this was all a mistake and I misconstrued your signals...” Francis was looking into his eyes. “To me, it all seemed pretty clear.”

“No,” Ludwig hastened to say. “No, you didn’t misconstrue anything. I just...” He looked away. “It’s just...” He raised his head, looking back at Francis. “I think I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?” Francis inquired. “Of the physical aspect? Don’t worry, I...”

“No, not that,” Ludwig interrupted him. “I’m scared because ... Well, this is all so nice and simple here. A short little summer romance. We could go upstairs now and ... have sex, and ... tomorrow evening I’m taking my flight back to Frankfurt, and ... that’s all.” He sighed. “I don’t want it to be all.”

“Oh Ludwig,” Francis said softly, cupping Ludwig’s cheek. “Me neither.” He leaned forward, kissing the younger man’s lips. “We can take this as slow as you want.”

That was when Roderich decided they had seen enough. Gently pushing Antonio out of the doorframe, he headed back to the hallway.

“Let’s try our luck with the longer route,” Roderich suggested, dragging Antonio to a bend that rounded the breakfast room.

“But ... aren’t they a cute couple?” Antonio gestured back to the door from which they had spotted Francis and Ludwig.

“Yes, very,” Roderich said in a matter-of-fact tone. “But we were intruding on their private conversation.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Antonio admitted. “We should have just walked past—”

This time it was Roderich who halted him, signalling him to be quiet. What he saw behind the bend shouldn’t have come as such a surprise, but it still was.

Erika and Henri were standing at a table near the reception, next to them a few pieces of paper and Erika’s pen. So much for the familiar sights. But Erika had her back against the table, pulling Henri closer until she could kiss him. A piece of paper slipped from Henri’s hand to the floor as he wrapped his arms around her. Neither of them paid any attention to it.

Roderich blinked. He felt dazed.

“I think we should walk around the hotel and enter through the front door,” Antonio suggested. Roderich didn’t react. That was why Antonio laid an arm around his waist, carefully guiding him out of the hallway.

“But she’s still so young!” Roderich mumbled when they were back in the open.

“She’s _nineteen,”_ Antonio said patiently, for the second time on this day.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

They didn’t encounter any stray couples on their third attempt to get to their hotel room, but Roderich wasn’t really in the mood anymore either. The fact that Erika had ceased to be the cute, innocent ten-year-old he had remembered confused him, and he couldn’t help pondering on Ludwig’s words about “short summer romances.”

Antonio sensed his change of mood. He suggested taking a shower and getting ready for bed. Roderich assumed they would, for once, just take the bed to have a good night’s sleep in it. He slumped on it while Antonio was in the bathroom, wondering if this wasn’t, perhaps, for the best. Antonio and him would part ways in less than twenty-four hours and he had already become more attached to this beautiful and considerate man than what was good for him.

When Antonio came out of the bathroom, it was, again, in nothing more than boxer shorts. Roderich’s resolve to call it a night started to falter.

 _You only have this night left,_ he thought to himself as he went into the bathroom. Its window was small and the scent of Antonio’s perfume was still hanging in the air, alongside a particular scent that reminded Roderich of oranges.

 _This night, maybe tomorrow morning, and that’s it._ There was no way he could keep seeing an escort as expensive as Antonio. But for now, Antonio was his, and he wanted him, oh _how_ he wanted him...

Roderich’s cock became half hard under the warm water of the shower. Something like this hadn’t happened to him since his teenage years. At the time, he had had the occasional lewd thought about a classmate while showering, and it had been quite the revelation when he had realised he was equally turned on by female and male forms...

He didn’t bother to put on any item of clothing as he walked out of the bathroom. Sometime between this evening and the last, he had realised that there was no need to be shy about his desires; not with Antonio who kept coaxing him to acknowledge them to himself.

The view Antonio gave him still managed to take him by surprise. He was leaning against the desk, chair pushed carelessly to the side. One hand was stroking a considerable erection while the other firmly gripped the edge of the desk. Antonio raised an eyebrow when his gaze fell between Roderich’s legs.

“And there I was thinking I needed to get you back in the mood...”

“I got back in the mood while I was in the shower.”

“Oh-ho-ho!” Antonio grinned. “I didn’t expect this kind of honesty.”

Roderich cursed himself, turning his back to Antonio.

“Come on, don’t pout!” Antonio said in the boyish tone that always had Roderich do what he requested. “Just sit on the bed and watch the show.”

“What show?” Roderich did as he was told, but he was still grumbling. “Watching you jerk yourself off?”

“Oh no.” Antonio turned around, arching his back until his plump, round butt was at Roderich’s eye level ... and until Roderich saw the butt plug between those two perfect ass cheeks. He inhaled sharply.

“You were taking quite long, so I thought I might as well start spreading my hole,” Antonio said as if it was the most logical thing in the world. He lifted the butt plug a little, and it sank back with a wet plop.

Roderich hadn’t been prepared for the electric spark that sound sent straight through his cock. He gasped, overcome with the desire to grab those two plump cheeks and bury his cock between them.

“Come on, Roderich!” Antonio growled, the urgency in his voice betraying his own lust. “Take me! I know you want it too!”

Roderich was lucid enough to open his nightstand in search of condoms, and he was a little taken aback when he found several that definitely hadn’t been there in the morning. He decided to ignore the mystery of the prescient chambermaid, grabbing one of the packs and ripping it open. It was where it belonged in no time, and the urge to press his body against Antonio’s became overwhelming.

But Roderich remembered Antonio’s teasing that had almost driven him crazy in the morning. He also remembered his desire to put his cock between Antonio’s butt cheeks. There was no way he would pass on the opportunity that was now handed to him on the proverbial silver platter.

He stepped behind Antonio, gently pulling the butt plug out of his entrance. The wet ring of muscle around it clenched and unclenched in anticipation, and Roderich gently pressed on it with his thumb. Antonio groaned, clearly expecting Roderich’s dick to follow.

And follow it did, just not in the way Antonio had envisioned. Roderich rubbed it between his perfect ass, drinking in the sight as he dragged it past Antonio’s entrance for several times until Antonio was shaking with want.

“Roderich, _please!”_ he whined. “I need you!”

“It’s surprisingly easy to make you beg,” Roderich teased.

“You have no idea!” Antonio chuckled breathlessly.

Roderich decided that it was enough. He brought the tip of his cock in line with Antonio’s hole, gently pushing past the ring of muscle.

Antonio had spread himself well. He was loose enough for Roderich’s cock to sink in without any problems and yet tight enough for Roderich to utter a low, appreciative moan as he touched Antonio’s insides.

Antonio arched his back against Roderich’s dick, encouraging him to go on—or to _hurry the fuck up,_ as Roderich suspected. He remembered how he had wished for Antonio to go faster when their positions were switched, but now he also understood Antonio’s desire to savour the moment.

When Roderich began to move, it was with slow determination. Antonio’s entrance was clenching lightly against his dick and his breathing became louder. Roderich tried to find a pace that suited them both, but when Antonio started to give low moans, he couldn’t take it any longer.

“I need to see your face,” Roderich panted, all out of breath. Antonio made a sound of protest as Roderich pulled out, but he helped him turn him on his back regardless.

Roderich drank in the sight in front of him: Antonio’s hands were pressed against the wall behind the desk, showing off his biceps muscles. His eyes were half closed, watching Roderich behind long, dark lashes. His chest was heaving, drawing attention to perfectly shaped abs and a heavy dick.

When Antonio locked his legs behind Roderich’s hips, Roderich knew there was no way he could go slow on him this time; not with this view in front of him. Supporting himself against the surface of the desk, he drove his cock inside of Antonio, rougher than before. Antonio gasped but he rolled his hips against Roderich’s, signalling him to go ahead.

Roderich gripped Antonio’s waist, pushing his cock inside of him hard and fast. Antonio groaned, meeting his thrusts with his hips until Roderich felt heady with desire. Heat was spreading through his abdomen and he lost his rhythm as he came close. In turn, Antonio started to fist himself, bringing himself closer to his own release.

The sight was too much for Roderich. He came with a loud moan, watching as Antonio took himself over the edge with his hand. Antonio’s insides were clenching on him as he rode out his orgasm until his cock became too limp. He slumped down with his chest on the desk, catching his breath.

“That was ... hugely satisfying,” Antonio panted next to him.

“You could say that.” Roderich was still gasping fitfully. He had never come at the same time as a male lover. The idea was still a little overwhelming even though he was aware Antonio had sped up his own release when he had realised Roderich was close. “Thank you, Antonio.” Honour to whom honour was due.

“I thank you! You were amazing!”

Roderich shook his head at Antonio’s praise.

“I wish I had more stamina so I could have fucked you longer,” he confessed.

“Me too!”

That came out a little too enthusiastically, and Roderich giggled. Realising he was able to move again, he pulled off his condom and discarded it in the wastepaper bin next to the desk. Grabbing the closest piece of cloth—which happened to be his dress handkerchief—he cleaned Antonio’s stomach.

“Can you move?” he then asked.

“Yeah. To the bed.” Antonio chuckled quietly. Groaning, he allowed Roderich to help him to his feet and guide him to the bed. “Sleep sounds like a good idea...” Antonio pulled the blanket towards himself, lifting it at one side. “Wanna let me cuddle you?”

Roderich smiled. He nodded, crawling to Antonio’s side.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

When Roderich awoke, there was an arm wrapped around his waist and he felt Antonio’s warm breath against his throat. At first he thought Antonio was still asleep, but then he started to speak.

“Mmh ... spooning is so nice with you,” Antonio mumbled sleepily, pressing a soft kiss against his throat. “Your skin feels so soft and your body fits perfectly against mine...”

“Yes, I agree,” Roderich whispered, smiling to himself. “Your body feels nice against mine as well.” There was a warm, fuzzy feeling in the pit of his stomach, and he turned around to kiss Antonio on the lips.

Their kisses became more heated after a while and Roderich started to drag his hardened cock between Antonio’s legs, pleasuring his lover’s balls and the underside of his cock that were still sensitive from last night’s activities.

“You’ve become so confident in showing me what you want,” Antonio mumbled after their session of lazy lovemaking. “It’s making you irresistible. Did I ever tell you so before?”

“No, because there was nothing to tell before last night.” Roderich chuckled. “I had completely forgotten how nice this can be.”

“Mission accomplished, I’d say.” Antonio grinned. “I hope you’re going to treat yourself better from now on. There’s no need for a beautiful man like you to go without sex for so long. Be a little more spontaneous. I’m sure you’re going to find the perfect person for you if only you go out a little more.”

“Yes...” Roderich gave him a cautious smile. _But will I find someone as loving and beautiful as you again?_ he thought to himself.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The wedding was solemnised first in the registry office in Geneva and then in a small local church. The guests were carried to Geneva in a large bus while bride and groom as well as the two marriage witnesses—Erika and Henri—went to the city in a white saloon car.

The two ceremonial acts were carried out with due dignity and traditional refinement. The happiness radiating from groom and bride made up for the lengthy Calvinist wedding ceremonial in particular, and their shy little wedding kisses were adorable to watch.

The bride was dressed in a frilly white robe while the groom was clad in an elegant black smoking. Like all men, Roderich and Antonio wore black suits while the chosen colour for the women was a pastel shade of red. Léa’s bridal bouquet was also red, and it was almost a relief to Roderich to see a different colour added to all that white. Cheerful colours suited her better than solemn white, he observed.

“What do you think,” Antonio asked as they were standing in front of the church, waiting for the newlyweds. “Who’s going to catch the bouquet?” He wiggled his eyebrow at Erika and Henri, indicating his personal favourites.

“Oh no, not them!” Roderich still wasn’t too fond of the idea that his cute little cousin had become a grown-up woman. “They’ve got all the time in the world to catch a bouquet at some later wedding. But how about our two young lovers over there?” He nodded at Francis and Ludwig.

“You’re clearly biased.” Antonio chuckled. “Ludwig is exactly as old as Erika.”

“Yes, but ... Somehow, Ludwig has always appeared much older than his actual age. And Francis is about as old as me.”

Antonio looked as if he was about to say something, but in this moment, bride and groom stepped out of the church. Roderich and Antonio started to clap like everyone else did while red flower petals rained down on the spouses. Then Léa lifted the bridal bouquet and threw it.

Roderich had no idea how it had happened. The only thing he knew was that, all of a sudden, red flowers filled his field of vision, and he needed to keep them from falling straight into his face.

When he had managed to save himself from getting crushed by flowers, he found himself holding them in his hands as the whole wedding party cheered. Looking at Léa in a daze, he realised belatedly that he, Roderich Edelstein, was the one who had caught the bridal bouquet. Not Erika. Not Ludwig. Him.

“Congratulations!” Antonio pulled him into a firm embrace. When his mouth was close to Roderich’s ear, he whispered: “I so hope for you that you’ll actually find someone to spend your life with soon, Roderich. You deserve a wonderful partner.”

“Thank you,” Roderich mumbled, unsure if Antonio could hear him over the cheers surrounding them. _But the one I’d actually want is you,_ he thought to himself with frightening lucidity.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Roderich was in a pensive mood. It was difficult for him to keep smiling as half of the wedding party made it their mission to tease him and Antonio about catching the bridal bouquet.

“We want to get an invite to your wedding too!” Francis told him when they entered the bus. “Him and me, I mean,” he clarified, pulling Ludwig closer to him who turned a bright shade of pink.

“If it isn’t actually you two who are getting married first!” Antonio retorted, winking at Francis who responded with a grin.

Shielding Roderich from more comments, he guided him back to the bus and made sure it was Roderich who took the window seat.

“All that attention that you draw to yourself now is making you uncomfortable, isn’t it?” Antonio said when they were both seated. Roderich nodded. It was only part of the reason why he had become quieter all of a sudden, but he didn’t want Antonio to suspect he was that dumb client who was falling for his sexy escort boy.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Roderich felt uncomfortable as he seated himself at the beautifully decorated wedding table, handing the flower bouquet to a member of the hotel staff who put it in a vase. Everybody seemed to watch him and, what was worse, his mother sat right opposite to him.

He didn’t know how that had happened. Erika had assured him she had rearranged the seating plan so they were farther apart, and the evening before, it had worked. Of course there was always a chance the hotel staff had mixed something up. Yet, it seemed more plausible to Roderich that his mother had noticed the rearrangement the evening before and had changed it back on her own accord.

At first, nothing happened. The hotel staff brought a few slices of fruit on a plate for them to nibble on while bride and groom were getting seated at a smaller table on the wooden stage. At the same time, Erika and Henri entered the stage, walking to a microphone that had been put there for their speech.

Roderich’s mother took an apple slice and ate it quietly, narrowing her eyes in suspicion. Antonio saw the glances she directed at her son. When he sat down, he allowed his hand to rest on Roderich’s shoulder for a moment in a quiet gesture of support.

That was enough to reignite her anger.

“So you think you’re actually going to marry that one?” Roderich’s mother nagged as soon as they had taken their seats, gesturing to Antonio with a dismissive flick of her head. “Wake up, Roderich! Don’t make yourself unhappy. A family with your own children...”

That was when Roderich’s thinning thread of patience snapped. He jumped to his feet.

“Please stop talking about me as if I was still a child!” he hissed in a low tone but with enough force to convey his anger. “I’m so sick of you telling me what you think is best for me! I know I’m not the son you wanted me to become, but the only thing you achieved with your rejection is to drive me away from you.” He took a deep breath. “Don’t get me wrong. I’ve given up hope that you will ever accept who I am, how I live and whom I love. But I ask you to stop pestering me about any of these things today. This day is not about you and me. It is about Léa and Basch.”

“How dare you talk to me like this!” Roderich’s mother gasped, visibly offended. She snatched another apple slice from the plate, putting it in her mouth with an angry gesture. “I will not allow this disrespect—”

Her words were cut off by a burbling sound. Fruitlessly gasping for air, her hands fumbled for her throat. Her terrified expression mirrored Roderich’s own feelings, watching shell-shocked as his mother was choking. Antonio, however, acted at once.

“Can you cough?” he yelled to her. “You need to cough!” But she only shook her head. Jumping on the table, Antonio ignored the plates that fell over as he rushed to Roderich’s mother. Standing behind her, he gave her a few harsh slaps to her back, but her breathing only became ever more ragged. Then he embraced her stomach, forming one of his hands to a fist. Grabbing it with his other hand, he yanked the fist towards himself.

Roderich stared at the scene in front of him, paralysed like a deer caught in the headlights. He felt helpless, but at least Antonio seemed to know what he was doing: He repeated the procedure of slapping his mother’s back and yanking her stomach towards him, checking each time if the obstruction in Mrs Edelstein’s throat was gone.

To no avail. His mother’s face turned blue and her knees gave in as she began to lose consciousness.

That was the sign for Antonio to stop what he was doing. Looking around in haste, he snatched a fillet knife from Mrs Edelstein’s place setting. Grabbing her neck, he placed the knife to her throat, making two curt cuts. Then he pulled a biro out of his jacket pocket, yanking it open and pushing a small plastic tube into the cut.

Her skin around the tube fluttered like a fish’s gills as fresh air wheezed into her lungs, in unison with a relieved sigh from Antonio.

“Roderich,” he proceeded to say in a calm and commanding tone. “Take your phone and call 144.” Wasting no time, Antonio leapt off the table, lowering Roderich’s mother to the ground.

Mechanically, Roderich did what Antonio told him, but his mind was blank. He had no idea what to tell the emergency medical services once they picked up.

He didn’t need to.

“Give me your phone,” Antonio said, stretching out the hand that didn’t support Mrs Edelstein’s neck. Again, Roderich did as he was told, handing the phone over the table. He was grateful there was no need for him to speak just yet.

“Hello?” Roderich heard Antonio say. “This is Antonio Fernández. I’m a medical student and I just needed to perform a cricothyrotomy on a woman who threatened to suffocate on ... a slice of apple, I think. Back slaps and abdominal thrusts didn’t work.” He gave them the address of their hotel and a short description of how to get to the garden at its back.

Antonio’s calm voice helped Roderich come to his right senses. Realising a group of bystanders had formed around them, he followed Antonio’s example and climbed over the table.

“What did you just do?” he asked Antonio, surprised at how collected the tone of his own voice was.

“An emergency airway puncture,” Antonio explained. “Sort of a last resort when someone isn’t able to breathe anymore and when there’s nothing better you can do.”

 _When there’s nothing better you can do._ He didn’t say “to keep someone from dying,” but Roderich understood very well what had just happened and that his mother would have been dead if it hadn’t been for Antonio. He squeezed his hand in a silent gesture of gratitude before he kneeled next to his mother.

“Hey, Mom,” he said, taking her hand. She looked at him, confused and frightened. “Don’t worry. Everything will turn out okay. The ambulance will be here in a bit.” His words seemed to calm her a little, and he gave her a reassuring smile.

“Roderich, I’m so sorry!” It was Erika who had dug her way through the spectators surrounding them. “How is your mother?”

“She’s going to be alright. Some piece of food got stuck in her throat, but she can breathe now.” It was Antonio who had responded, but Roderich wanted to reply as well.

“Maybe you can stall your wedding speech until the ambulance arrives and tell people what happened in the meantime,” Roderich suggested.

“How can you think of the wedding speech now?” Erika exclaimed, but Roderich waved her objection away.

“The show must go on. My mother and me ruined enough of Basch and Léa’s wedding already. I want everyone to have a pleasant time and enjoy the delicious food that’s going to be served.” Roderich was surprised at his own calm and collected tone.

“But ... your mother...”

“Will be fine. Antonio and me are going to accompany her to the hospital. There’s really no need for anybody else to come with us.” He mustered a weak smile. _For Erika._ “I’m sorry I won’t hear about the pink pyjama now.”

“I’m going to tell you sometime later.” Erika returned his smile, presumably smiling for his sake just like he was smiling for hers.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The ambulance arrived within minutes, proving, once again, the notorious efficiency of the Swiss. Roderich and Antonio were allowed to enter it with Roderich’s mother who was carried inside on a stretcher.

When they had arrived at the hospital, Roderich’s mother was carried inside a treatment room while they had to wait outside. Roderich pulled his phone out of the inside pocket of his suit coat and sighed. It was time for his most difficult phone call.

He needed to look up the number in his phone because he had never used it before. Taking a deep breath, he dialled it, bracing himself for the voice at the other end of the line.

It didn’t take long. He always answered calls within seconds, Roderich remembered.

 _“Yes?”_ the voice at the other end of the line said firmly.

“Father?” Roderich’s voice didn’t betray his insecurity. “This is Roderich...”

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The call proved to be easier than Roderich had feared. His father had always been distant, but even he didn’t remain unfazed as he heard about the almost-death of his wife. He assured Roderich he would take the next flight to Geneva after his business meeting was over and join his wife in the hospital on Monday. Roderich was glad about that. In spite of all the difficulty between him and his mother, he would have felt bad about leaving her alone in Geneva while he was going back to Vienna in the evening.

Even though the talk with his father had been civil and factual, Roderich felt as if he had run a marathon after he had rung off. Beads of sweat had formed on his front and he was visibly shaking.

Antonio took him in his arms wordlessly, holding him until his heartbeat slowed down. Roderich was immensely grateful for his support, wishing, not for the first time, that Antonio was his actual boyfriend, not his escort. He rested his head against Antonio’s shoulder, closing his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said to Antonio. “You truly see the worst of me on this weekend.”

“I don’t think so,” Antonio reassured him, placing a casual kiss on his neck. “I don’t know if I could have pulled myself together like you did if my mom almost died in front of my eyes.” He hesitated for a moment. “Especially if we hadn’t been able to sort out our disagreement before that.”

“Yes.” Roderich flashed a distraught look at Antonio. “I didn’t think about it in that moment, but ... what if she had really died?” He sat down on one of the seats alongside the wall, resting his head on his hands. “You said I haven’t been able to get a proper closure because I just walked away as soon as I could. I suppose that’s exactly it. The thought of her dying while we’re still at strife... It’s not a very nice thought, I must say.” And that was an understatement.

Antonio didn’t say anything. He took a seat next to Roderich, laying an arm around him in a silent display of support. Roderich appreciated the gesture, but he was also glad about the quiet. He needed a little time to himself; to decide if he should change the way he behaved around his mom; perhaps make an attempt at reconciliation...

He hadn’t come to any conclusion yet when a nurse appeared, informing them his mother hadn’t suffered any serious injuries and that they were allowed to enter her room now. Roderich rose to follow her, indicating with a nod of his head that he would appreciate if Antonio came with him.

“Oh ... Yes.” Antonio got up. “I just thought that maybe ... you wanted to be alone with your mom first.”

“I think it would be good for her to get reminded who saved her,” Roderich replied, sounding relentless even to his own ears.

“Don’t ... don’t be mean, okay?” Antonio gave him one of his puppy dog looks. “I mean she just ... You said yourself...”

“Don’t worry.” Roderich gave him a tense smile. “I ... think I just want her to acknowledge it was you who saved her before she’s able to get on her high horse again.”

Antonio gave him a doubtful glance but Roderich ignored him, pulling him along as the nurse showed them the way to his mother’s room. Roderich knocked, waiting for a few seconds before he let himself in.

“Roderich?” His mother sat in the hospital bed, propped up with a large cushion. Her voice was hoarse and there was a large, white patch on her throat.

“Mom?” He stood in the hospital room, suddenly lost for words.

“And ... Antonio, wasn’t it?” His mother turned to his escort.

“Yes,” Antonio said quietly. He seemed mildly uncomfortable. Roderich understood him; he wouldn’t have liked to intrude on such a private situation either if their roles had been reversed. As it was, however, he did not want to be alone with his mother.

“The thought that ... my son is in a relationship with another man ... still doesn’t agree with me,” she said slowly, making pauses that betrayed the effort it still meant for her to talk. “But it seems I wouldn’t be here anymore if he wasn’t ... so I suppose I should thank you.” She extended a hand towards Antonio. Roderich exhaled a breath he hadn’t known he had held as Antonio stepped forward and took her hand.

“Thank you,” she repeated, and Antonio nodded tensely.

“Roderich,” she addressed her son again when Antonio had stepped back. “Do you think you could maybe ... bring yourself to talk to me on the phone every few weeks?” Roderich thought about that for a moment.

“Yes, I think I can do that.”

His mother gave him a relieved smile. In spite of all that had passed between them; all the nagging he had suffered from his mother; he suddenly felt bad for excluding her from his life for ten years. A part of him wondered if this had been her intention; if she had used her accident for them to get back in touch just like he had used it in order to get some acknowledgement for Antonio.

 _Well, so what._ Maybe it was just that she had understood how short life could be, and she had come to the conclusion that it was too short to keep pushing her son away with her attitude. He hoped so.

Then again, even if she kept criticising him on the phone ... he could just hang up if it became too much, couldn’t he? _Perhaps the occasional phone call actually is a good idea,_ he thought to himself.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Erika was waiting for them when they left the hospital room. She rushed towards them as soon as she spotted them.

“Roderich!” she exclaimed. “How is your mom?”

“Oh, a bit hoarse, but otherwise good,” he said truthfully. “I don’t think she’d mind if you popped in for a visit.”

“I’m glad!” Erika stood on tiptoe in order to plant a quick kiss on his cheek. “The nurse told me your mom shouldn’t speak much, though, so I think I’ll visit her in the evening.”

“Good, good,” Roderich said before he shifted the topic back to the wedding. “How was your speech?” he asked. “Did people like it? I hope they weren’t too disturbed to listen after the ambulance appeared!”

“It actually went better than I had feared,” Erika said pensively. “It’s mostly thanks to Henri. As it turned out, he knew exactly what to say in order to reassure the other guests that your mother would be fine.” After a pause, she admitted: “And me too.” She smiled.

“Henri is a wonderful young man.” Roderich gave her his most heartfelt smile.

“He really is!” She beamed at him, and it was so _obvious_ she was in love with Henri that Roderich wondered how he hadn’t been able to see it as soon as he had first watched them work on their wedding speech together.

“So what was that thing Henri and you mentioned about a pink pyjama?” Antonio interjected.

“Oh! The pyjama!” Erika exclaimed. “Right, you didn’t get to hear the story in the end!”

“So what is it about?” said Roderich. He was glad about the opportunity to talk about something other than his mother for a bit. There was a little voice at the back of his mind that warned him the memory of her choking would haunt him for long enough as soon as he was alone again...

“So when I was seven, my parents gifted me a pretty pink pyjama with white lace at its collar and at the end of its sleeves for Christmas,” Erika told them while they were walking towards the exit. “I loved it lots and was very happy when my brother complimented me on it. Somehow, seven-year-old me thought what he had actually meant was that, in his heart of hearts, he wanted a pyjama for girls just like the one I had. That’s why I saved my pocket money for a whole year and bought him a similar pyjama as a Christmas present!” She chuckled. “Maybe I was right; maybe I just have the kindest brother in the whole world. In any case, he still wears that pink pyjama to this very day.”

“That’s lovely!” Roderich exclaimed while they were on their way from the hospital to the car park.

“Honestly, you should have been there!” Erika told them, unlocking her car; a tiny, red Opel Adam. “When I said ‘he still wears that pyjama to this very day’, Léa shouted ‘I can testify!’, and everyone was roaring with laughter!”

“I can imagine!” Roderich chuckled.

They didn’t talk about it, but somehow the both of them took back seats in Erika’s car. Antonio inched close to Roderich, whispering in his ear.

“I bet you have a pair of frilly purple pyjamas. That’s your colour, isn’t it?” He brushed lightly over the sleeve of Roderich’s dress suit. Roderich felt a warm tickle in his stomach.

“Yes; in fact, I have two pairs,” he whispered back.

“I’m sure they suit you as well as this.” Antonio touched his sleeve again before his hand settled on Roderich’s thigh. “Too bad I won’t get to see you in them.”

“Antonio!” Roderich grumbled, inching away from his escort. “Shush! This is hardly the moment!”

“The moment for what?” Antonio grinned at him mischievously, wasting no time to wait for an answer. “It’s hardly my fault you’re so sex-starved I can turn you on with just a few innocent touches!”

“Innocent!” Roderich grumbled, inching farther away. He knew Antonio was teasing him and he knew it was a strange thing to do while they were getting away from a hospital, but he also appreciated the further distraction. The thought of being in his flat again, alone with his memories of his mother’s accident and his confusing feelings for Antonio ... It wasn’t too appealing, and he was only too willing to latch on every opportunity that stopped him from thinking about it even now.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Léa had asked the hotel staff to keep some of the food from the wedding feast for Roderich and Antonio. They both admired her for thinking of them—and of the fact that neither of them had eaten since breakfast—uttered a few words of gratitude, and devoured the delicious food in the breakfast room while everyone else was chatting and dancing outside. Erika kept them company, soon followed by Henri who didn’t seem to need an excuse for being near her anymore.

“So ... are you going to take the plane back to Vienna as planned or are you going to prolong your stay in order to see to your mom?” Erika asked when Roderich’s eating speed had slowed down.

“We need to take the plane this evening, I’m afraid,” Roderich replied. “I’ve got a rehearsal to attend on Monday afternoon and Antonio needs to go to uni in the morning.”

“Mmh...” Erika thought. “Do you want me to visit her tomorrow? I mean ... Léa and my brother are going to take a tour round Lake Geneva as their honeymoon, and Henri and me are coming with them. That means it would be no problem for me...”

“Oh, no; no, I don’t think this will be necessary!” Roderich said quickly. “I called my father and he assured me he would come and visit her soon. I think he’s going to take her home with him then.”

“Ah, that’s good to know.” Erika smiled, but it was nothing against the look of utter relief on Henri’s face. The thought of being separated from Erika—or of being alone with the honeymooners; who knew—seemed to displease him greatly.

Roderich caught Antonio’s gaze out of the corner of his eye. The amused glint in his eyes told him Antonio had seen the same as he had.

When they had finished their meal, they went outside, mingling with the other wedding guests for a bit. Neither of them was in the mood for a dance, so they mostly sat at the long table and walked a few steps in the garden. Occasionally, people would come over and ask about Roderich’s mother, but most of the guests seemed to think it best not to pressure either of them too much for information. It was only Francis who came over to have a chat about something else, Ludwig in tow. Roderich noticed that they were holding hands.

“I think there’s something you forgot,” Francis greeted them. He produced the bridal bouquet from behind his back, handing it to Roderich. “I expect an invite to your marriage!” He winked at them.

“Francis, _please,”_ Ludwig said, seeming uncomfortable. “This is hardly the time...”

“This is the only time we’ve got to secure us a place at the wedding feast of these two!” Francis objected. “I don’t want them to rush off and forget about us when they’ve reached that stage of their relationship!”

“Fine, fine,” Roderich grumbled, taking the flowers out of Francis’ hands. He had no idea if he was even _theoretically_ allowed to export them to Austria—probably not—but he assumed it was the most pragmatic solution. “We’re going to invite you when we’re getting married.” There was no harm in promising something that would never happen, he thought, ignoring the pang of regret he felt at that realisation.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

In the end, he gave the flowers to Erika before they boarded the plane to Vienna. Perhaps Antonio was right, he thought; perhaps it was Erika who should have caught the bridal bouquet in the first place.

The flight back to Vienna was as uneventful as the flight to Geneva. Roderich was in a subdued mood and didn’t talk much, but neither did Antonio.

When they boarded the train from Schwechat, where Vienna International Airport was situated, to Vienna main station, Roderich was filled with a sense that it was definitively, irrevocably over now. No more nights filled with good sex and laughter. No more days full of long talks and reassuring embraces. Antonio was still standing right next to him, but Roderich somehow had the impression that he was drifting away already; blurring like the sweet dream this weekend had been in some aspects.

In others, it had rather been a nightmare, but it would have been so much worse if Antonio hadn’t been there... Roderich thought of his mother and realised belatedly how accurate that thought was. He bit his lips, fighting down a sudden urge to cry. This had all been a bit much.

“Roderich?” Antonio’s soft voice intruded in his thoughts. “Vienna main station. We need to get off the train.”

“Oh ... oh! Yes!” Roderich grabbed his luggage and carried it out of the railway compartment, followed by Antonio.

“So...” he said when they stood on the platform, unsure of what to say.

“So,” Antonio said too. Then he leaned in, grabbing the collar of Roderich’s jacket as he placed a firm kiss on his lips; a kiss that seemed to tell him that it was the last of its kind. Then Antonio took a business card out of his wallet, sliding it in Roderich’s jacket pocket.

“Call me when you’ve found someone,” he said. “You know, someone for life. And Francis isn’t the only one who’d love to get an invite to your wedding.” Winking at Roderich, he lifted his luggage and went to the escalator.

Roderich remained on the platform for a long while, staring after Antonio. He felt hollow. _But I found someone,_ he wanted to shout so loud that Antonio could still hear him. _I found you._

[Art by Salytierra; [link to the tumblr post](https://salytierra.tumblr.com/post/182805219828/antonio-was-still-standing-right-next-to-him-but).]

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

On the first night, Roderich hardly slept. He kept tossing and turning around in his bed, haunted by memories of his mother choking and Antonio bidding him farewell.

The day after, he felt exhausted but somehow managed to focus on his rehearsal even though there were some points before and afterwards when he nearly dozed off.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

On the second night, Roderich fell into a deep sleep of exhaustion. Towards the morning, it turned into a vivid dream of him and Antonio fucking in the backseat of a car that looked suspiciously like Erika’s. He sensed he was dreaming after a while, but imagining to be this close to Antonio again felt so nice ... His mind was so sleepy that he made no effort to keep himself from slipping back into the dream.

He regretted it when he woke up, far too late, with the uncomfortably sticky feeling of dried sperm between his legs. Cursing quietly, he threw his pyjamas into the hamper, taking a shower before he proceeded to change the bedsheets. _Good job, Roderich,_ he thought sarcastically. _That’s the first time you made a mess in your bed after a wet dream since you were ... what, seventeen?_

His moodiness remained his companion throughout the day, making his piano students wonder why their teacher was so unusually bad-tempered even by his own standards. He felt guilty when he overheard one student mutter to the next to “watch out, he’s grumpier than usual.” The student, a flaxen-haired teenage boy, froze when he realised Roderich had heard him, but instead of the expected snarl he received an apology.

Roderich tried to pull himself together for the rest of the day. After the last student had left his music room, he felt drained and decided to go to bed early.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

This time, he dreamed Antonio and him were resting on a patch of grass next to Lake Geneva with no other people in sight. They were kissing, bodies gently moving against each other, and it was all so nice, _so nice_ —until the memory that Antonio had walked out of his life came crashing back on him and he woke up sobbing.

He was inattentive the following day, missing his cue twice during rehearsals and failing to stop playing when the conductor asked to repeat a certain passage for several times. In the end, the conductor told them to take a break earlier than usual, and Roderich shuffled into the cafeteria with his head bowed.

“What’s the matter, hm?” Sadık came to him with his coffee as usual, over-sweetening it with three pieces of sugar.

“I’m sorry, I’m—” Roderich broke off and sighed. “I didn’t mean to be so absentminded.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s not like you at all to miss your cue,” Sadık said amicably. “But that’s not what I was asking about.”

“It’s about the wedding.” Roderich sighed. _There it was._

“Oh! The wedding! That was this weekend, right?” Sadık gave him a quizzical look. “Trouble with your family?”

“Well ... that too.” Roderich decided quickly not to tell Sadık about his mother’s accident. He thought of it as family business and if he needed someone to talk, he could always call Erika, or Basch, or Léa. About Antonio, however... Roderich sighed. He needed to confide this to someone.

“Remember I told you I didn’t want to go alone?” That seemed as good of a beginning as any.

“Yeah, and I suggested asking one of the girls,” Sadık recalled. “So ... did you?” There was a curious glint in his eyes.

“Nah ... well, yes, but I wasn’t successful. Sorry to disappoint if I just crushed your hopes of hearing juicy stories about one of our colleagues in the orchestra.”

“So there is a juicy story?” Sadık sipped on his coffee, watching Roderich intently. He decided that a fourth piece of sugar was due. Roderich winced at the sight.

“Well, yes.” Roderich decided to get it over with. “Michelle gave me the contact details of a friend of hers who runs an escort agency.”

“Oh!” Sadık whistled. So you got some pretty, big-boobed...”

“A man,” Roderich interrupted him. “I decided on a man.”

“Oh?” Sadık blinked. “I didn’t know you’re gay.”

“I’m bisexual,” Roderich said patiently for what seemed to be the thousandth time in his life. “And I decided on a male escort because I thought seeing me with a man would piss my mom off, if you want me to be completely honest.”

“And did it work?”

“It did.” Roderich laughed. It was ironic, he thought to himself, how he could laugh his mother’s insults off, now that they were only a memory.

“About this escort guy...” Sadık said, giving Roderich an intent look. “Was that an agency that’s just there to keep people company during events they don’t want to attend on their own, or...” He raised an eyebrow. “You know.”

“If you’re asking me if I had paid sex with another man...” Roderich had wanted to make his confession calmly, but he couldn’t help his cheeks heating up. “Yes, I had, and I haven’t had good sex in a very long time.” He coughed. “I haven’t had sex in a very long time,” Roderich admitted.

“Wow.” Sadık needed a moment to digest this piece of information. “So ... is that what’s bothering you? That you essentially paid someone to sleep with you?”

“No.” Roderich gave him a regretful smile. “No, I suppose I’m a less moral person than you seem to think. But ... it was very nice and...” A part of Roderich didn’t want to speak on. This was private information, after all. Too private to tell his friend? Roderich took a deep breath, bracing himself. “And I realised what I was missing out on all this time.”

“Well, I mean, you don’t look bad and ... I suppose it wouldn’t be difficult for you to find someone if you went out and looked for...”

“He was considerate and charming and a good listener,” Roderich burst out. “He hugged me and gave me little kisses and—and—” He pressed his lips together, realising he had said too much ... or everything he had meant to say, perhaps.

“Oh dear.” Sadık’s eyes softened. “You’ve got it bad.” Roderich looked down to evade his pitying glance, lips still pressed together.

“And now?” Sadık tilted his head to get into Roderich’s field of vision.

“And now I’m the dumb man who fell head over heels for his escort and doesn’t know what to do.” Roderich bit his lips so hard he tasted blood.

“Well...” Sadık thought. “Why don’t you just call him again?”

“He’s expensive.” Roderich sighed. “He knows I’m unable to afford him in the long run. And he basically just wished me a good life when he bid me farewell.”

“But you still have a means to contact him, right?”

“Yes.” Roderich thought of the business card Antonio had given to him. “I have.”

“Then why don’t you just do that?” Sadık suggested once more. “I’m sure you can afford him one more time. Also, calling him and admitting that you want to see him again can’t be more embarrassing than confiding to a friend that you’re crushing on your escort, can it?”

Roderich could hardly argue with this logic.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Roderich put the business card with Antonio’s contact details next to the telephone as soon as he got home. It kept sitting there for the rest of the day, menacing and appealing at the same time.

Roderich hesitated to call Antonio. He thought of it as an admission of defeat, testifying both to his inability and to his unwillingness to find an actual partner. Then again, the longer he waited, the more evident it would become that he was simply _not looking;_ that he was slipping back into his old habit of having no sex for lack of a partner. And Roderich was sure that this was precisely what would happen if ... if he resigned himself to pining for Antonio, making no efforts to overcome his lovesickness.

In the end, he went to bed without making any calls, but also without completing any of the things he had planned to do this evening. Granted, he had filled two lines in his music book with notes for a piano piece he was composing, but that was little in comparison to what he could usually do. Also, the part for his right hand felt too languid and the one for his left too basic...

That night, Roderich started from his sleep for several times, each time with the dreading sensation he had forgotten something important: An unlocked door that invited thieves to steal his piano; a solo concerto he had never practiced for that was to determine his whole career; a plugged in flat iron that would set the whole house on fire...

Feeling as drained as if he had stayed up all night, Roderich was woken by his alarm clock. He had eventually made up his mind: He would call Antonio. Not right now, in the morning; that would seem too desperate, he decided. But in the early evening he would call him. Even if it was just to confess his foolishness, have his hopes crushed, and free his mind for more productive business.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Roderich dialled Antonio’s number quickly on his landline, trying not to give himself too much time to question what he was doing. His heart was beating loud in his ear as he pressed the receiver to his ear, waiting for Antonio to answer his call.

 _“Antonio Fernández.”_ The voice at the other end of the line was smooth and warm and caused a pleasant tickle in Roderich’s stomach.

“Oh, uh, this is Roderich,” he spluttered, blushing violently. He was glad Antonio could not see him.

 _“Roderich!”_ Antonio sounded happy. _“I didn’t expect to hear from you so soon!”_

“Yeah, me neither ... I mean ... I didn’t mean to call so soon either...” Roderich realised he was babbling and fell silent.

_“So what was it that made you change your mind?”_

“I, uh ... I was talking with a friend, and he suggested I call you one more time because ... Well, because I told him the weekend with you was really lovely.”

 _“Oh, you did?”_ Antonio said smoothly. Roderich could have sworn he was proud to hear the praise. _“Then I suppose you want me to add one more lovely memory to those you already have of the two of us, don’t you?”_ The teasing eventually did the trick: Roderich chuckled.

“You could say that,” he said, feeling more confident all of a sudden.

 _“Hmm ... It’s probably not your style, but how about going to the cinema together?”_ Antonio suggested. _“There’s a fantasy film I’d love to see...”_

“Yeah, you’re right, it’s not exactly my style.” Roderich laughed quietly. “I haven’t been to the cinema in _ages!_ Is that an attempt of yours to get me to do yet another thing you think I denied myself for too long?” Antonio chuckled.

_“Truth be told, I’ve been craving to watch that film for quite a while, but I think you’d enjoy it too and I’d love to watch it in your company.”_

“So you _are_ trying to get me to do something I denied myself,” Roderich concluded. Antonio responded with good-natured laughter. Roderich felt warmth spreading through his body, and he smiled even though Antonio couldn’t see it.

 _“That’s what_ you _said now,”_ Antonio pointed out. _“That it’s something you denied yourself. About time to go again, then, isn’t it?”_

“Absolutely!” Roderich said in an amused tone. Antonio’s enthusiasm was, as always, contagious.

 _“Lovely!”_ Antonio exclaimed. _“Tomorrow at twenty to eight? I’m going to send you the address of the cinema on WhatsApp, if that’s okay with you?”_

“That’s fine,” Roderich assured him.

_“Perfect! I’m going to order the tickets; is that all right?”_

“Yes, of course!” Roderich noted the date in his day planner, tempted to draw a little heart behind it. But that would have been childish, wouldn’t it? Still, he couldn’t keep himself from underlining it twice.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

This time, Roderich made sure he didn’t have to meet with Antonio in his orchestra frock: He brought a small case with more casual clothing to the rehearsal and changed before leaving for the cinema. Of course he had to run into Sadık who gave him a knowing glance when he saw him.

“Roderich in a black polo neck sweater and black trousers,” he teased, raising an eyebrow. “Are you going for the existentialist look?”

“Not really.” Roderich grinned. “Going to the cinema with Antonio,” he informed his friend. “Think I’d be a bit overdressed in the frock, wouldn’t I?” Sadık laughed.

“Have fun!” he called as Roderich headed for the exit.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Approaching the cinema Antonio had indicated to him, Roderich was a little nervous, but most of all, he felt excited to see Antonio again. This time, he was the one who arrived first. Worried he might have ended up in front of the wrong cinema in the end, he pulled out his phone, double-checking Antonio’s message for the address. That was when he heard a familiar voice call his name.

“Roderich!”

Roderich looked up, watching as Antonio rushed towards him. He was wearing blue jeans just like the first time they had met; only the shirt wasn’t black but white this time.

“Sorry I’m late,” Antonio panted, pushing his hands on his knees as he caught his breath. “We were a little behind in our study group and the others didn’t let me go until I was done explaining my summary...”

“You’re not really late, though,” Roderich pointed out, checking the time on his phone. “Five minutes? Plenty of time to get inside the cinema even before the commercials begin.”

“I’m glad you’re not cross with me.” Antonio smiled, putting an arm around Roderich’s waist. “Hmm... I really like the feel of that sweater,” he pointed out, placing a casual kiss on Roderich’s cheek.

Roderich smiled back. Antonio’s arm felt comfortable, and he was glad he kept it where it was while they walked into the building. They went to the counter, and Antonio picked up the tickets he had reserved. Roderich made a move to get his wallet in order to pay for them, but Antonio stopped him with a wave of his hand.

“Treat’s on me.”

Roderich nodded in acceptance. He would have thanked Antonio more, but he knew the amount of money Angélique’s agency would charge him for this evening easily made up for two cinema tickets. Perhaps Antonio could even write them off against tax.

“I’ve got chocolate biscuits, so I think we don’t need anything to eat,” Antonio informed him. “What do you think?”

“Sounds good to me,” Roderich replied. “I’m not that much of a fan of eating popcorn in the cinema anyway. I remember it to be quite distracting when people munch on it during a screening.”

“I almost thought you’d see it that way.” Antonio laughed quietly. “But how about something to drink? I think I’d like to get a cup of coke. How about you?”

“That would be nice,” Roderich said. He didn’t normally drink coke, but he thought it was in line with the occasion. Also, caffeine was always good, no matter in what way, shape or form.

They queued in front of the kiosk and when it was their turn, Antonio ordered two medium-sized cups of coke. He paid for them, too, and handed one to Roderich. If it wasn’t for his previous deliberations about the amount of money Antonio spent on him today and the amount of money Antonio would get for his job, Roderich could almost have believed he was on an ordinary date.

The screen was still black and the lights still on while they went to take their seats. It gave Roderich the opportunity to admire the little red settee Antonio had reserved for them. There was the possibility to fold down an armrest in order to separate the seating surface in two, but he doubted either of them would make any intention to use it.

Antonio placed his coke in the cup holder to the left, so Roderich chose the right side. Then Antonio handed a small biscuit barrel to him. Roderich couldn’t help looking inside instantly. Chocolate biscuits were a weakness of his, though he wondered how Antonio managed to know him so well. He couldn’t remember ever mentioning his preference for sweets to him.

The scent of fresh, delicious bakery wafted to his nose as soon as Roderich opened the barrel and a happy smile spread to his face. Looking up, his eyes met Antonio’s who gestured for him to sit down with a pleased grin on his lips. Antonio leaned towards him as soon as Roderich had seated himself.

“I don’t know if it’s a combination of your shampoo and the colour of your hair or just your very own scent, but I always get reminded of chocolate biscuits when I’m close to you,” Antonio whispered to Roderich, answering his unspoken question. Roderich felt his cheeks heat up and a warm feeling spread through him. He took Antonio’s hand, giving it a squeeze.

“I have no idea, but I love chocolate biscuits,” he whispered to Antonio, turning to him. Antonio seized the opportunity to press a quick kiss to his lips. Roderich thought it was not enough and kissed him back.

They were interrupted as the cinema darkened and the commercials started to air. Roderich didn’t know if he should inch closer to Antonio so their sides were touching, but Antonio made the decision for him: He laid an arm around Roderich, pulling him to his side.

“Quite boring, aren’t they?” Antonio whispered, indicating the commercials with a movement of his head. “I know something much more interesting I’d rather do than watch them.” He leaned towards Roderich to kiss him again, properly this time. Roderich reciprocated the kiss eagerly, kissing back with closed eyes. It was only five days since he had last kissed Antonio like this, but it felt like much longer. He enjoyed the warmth and happiness that spread through his body and he rested a hand on Antonio’s thigh to lean even closer to him.

Antonio gently broke the kiss, pushing Roderich’s hair back with his fingers. Roderich was glad it was dark around them; he was sure Antonio would otherwise have seen the enamoured gaze in his eyes.

“Take that as a promise of what’s to come after the film,” Antonio mumbled to his ear, and Roderich could feel his heart beat fast in his chest.

Then the commercials were over, and Antonio brought a little distance between them as he reached for his coke. Roderich did the same, trying to clear his head a little.

The film started with the scene of a nightly chase. Antonio flinched, inching close to Roderich as the main villain appeared, attacking his pursuers. With an amused smile, Roderich put an arm around Antonio as if for protection. In some senses, Antonio really was like a stray puppy.

Roderich took his arm back as the film progressed to a more quiet scene. Antonio seemed to remember he was in the cinema, taking one of the biscuits from a second barrel to his own side.

Watching Antonio watch a film was much more entertaining than watching the film itself, Roderich decided after a while. Antonio’s body moved with every action scene, grabbing Roderich’s arm during a few particularly suspenseful moments. One scene seemed to trouble him in particular, and he almost hid behind Roderich’s back. Roderich couldn’t help the amused grin that spread all over his face.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The film was fast-paced and suspenseful and Antonio’s reactions provided for some unexpected extra entertainment. Roderich was surprised to find that two and a half hours had passed when the closing titles started to appear on the screen. Antonio released his arm that he had grabbed during the final action sequence and started to gather his belongings. Roderich did the same, sipping the rest of his coke and grabbing the half-full biscuit barrel.

“The film was great, wasn’t it?” Antonio said excitedly as soon as they had left the cinema. “I’m glad I went to watch it with you!”

“Me too.” Roderich’s lips quirked up. “And I’m glad I went to the cinema with you. Your reactions are rather entertaining.”

“My friends keep telling me that, too.” Antonio grinned, not embarrassed in the least. Roderich laughed.

“We should probably try to catch a taxi,” Antonio then suggested.

“Intending to fulfil your promise of what’s to come, eh?” Roderich said teasingly.

“Exactly!” Antonio winked at him.

They took one of the taxis waiting for customers near the cinema. When they had entered, Antonio took Roderich’s hand and smiled at him.

“I’m glad you called. It’s so nice to spend time with you.”

“Thank you.” Roderich smiled. “It’s lovely to spend time with you too.”

The taxi driver brought them to the address Antonio had indicated to him, a rather nondescript multi-storey building from the late eighties in Donaustadt, the 22nd and second youngest district of Vienna. Roderich couldn’t spot an inscription in the darkness, but the building seemed like one of the many blocks of council flats that were omnipresent in Vienna, testimony to one hundred years of continuous public housing projects.

Antonio opened the front door of the building with a key and headed straight for the lift. Roderich followed him, and while the doors slid closed, Antonio embraced him from behind.

“I’d love to continue where we stopped before the film started,” he hummed in Roderich’s ear. Roderich turned around in his embrace, initiating the kiss this time. He could feel Antonio’s smile against his lips before they both got lost in the sensation of being so close to each other once again.

Antonio gently pressed Roderich’s body against the side of the lift, rubbing his crotch against Roderich’s thigh. Roderich breathed in sharply through his nose as he felt the hardness between Antonio’s legs. Antonio broke their kiss, panting close to his ear.

“In all honesty,” he said out of breath, “if you want the true reason why I didn’t keep kissing you when you put your hand on my leg...” He didn’t need to speak on. Roderich snickered, feeling a little light-headed and pretty aroused as well.

The lift came to a halt and Antonio took his hand, dragging him out and to the door of a flat. Antonio opened it and pulled him inside. One moment later, Roderich found himself pressed against the door, Antonio pushing their hips together. Roderich gasped as he felt their erections touch, grinding back against Antonio.

“Seems like we’re both eager,” Antonio commented before he kissed his way from Roderich’s throat to his stomach, opening his shirt in the process. Roderich tilted his head back, pressing his palms flat against the door. He struggled against a sudden impulse to push Antonio’s face down and against his crotch.

“Very ... eager,” he panted. Then Antonio pushed down his trousers, pressing his open mouth against Roderich’s cock. Antonio’s hot breath made Roderich moan, and his legs trembled as he fought down the urge to buck his hips.

“Antonio!” he gasped. “I can’t wait for much longer!” Antonio smirked and got to his feet.

“That’s the first time I hear you beg,” he said smugly.

Antonio helped Roderich step out of his trousers, getting rid of his own T-shirt and pants as he tugged Roderich along to the bedroom. He pushed him against the edge of the bed, and Roderich spread his legs as he let himself fall back. Antonio was on top of him immediately, grinding their hips together again.

“So you want to bottom to me tonight?” Antonio grunted, running his hands over Roderich’s torso. “How convenient; I wouldn’t have let you top this time anyway.” The possessive tone in his voice made Roderich shiver and he bucked his hips against Antonio’s, desperately wishing for the layers of underwear between them to be gone.

“Very good,” Antonio growled, fingers at the hem of Roderich’s boxers. “And now lift your hips.” Roderich did as he was told, realising how uncomfortable his underwear had become only now that it was gone.

“I did tell you what a nice cock you have, didn’t I?” Antonio said almost casually, taking it in his hand and stroking its underside.

“Ah—yes,” Roderich moaned.

“I wonder if your stamina has improved since the time I said that,” Antonio added, teasingly brushing a finger against Roderich’s slit. “You’re already wet at the tip, though,” he informed him.

“I—I’ll do my best,” Roderich promised, surprised at his own eagerness to comply with Antonio’s unspoken demand.

“Good,” Antonio said in a pleased tone. “Then turn around.”

Roderich got to his knees, leaning forward and seizing the headboard with both arms. It wasn’t his favourite position and he was sure Antonio knew that at this point, but by now Roderich was too aroused to care much for particulars.

Spreading him went much faster this time, and soon there was a pause in which Roderich heard the sounds of a condom being rolled in place. Breathing heavily, he relaxed the muscles around his hole as well as he could, eager to feel Antonio inside of him.

Antonio pushed in faster than what was comfortable for Roderich. Hissing at the burning sensation, Roderich did his best not to clench. There was a notion at the back of his mind telling him something was off, but then Antonio started to move and he lost that train of thought.

Antonio thrust inside of him rough and fast, and Roderich tensed his not altogether strong abs to hold on for as long as he could. When Antonio brushed against his prostrate for the first time, Roderich’s pants turned into low moans that only served to spur Antonio on even more. Roderich’s hips seemed to buck into Antonio’s out of their own volition, and when Antonio found his prostrate again, Roderich knew he couldn’t hold on any longer. The moment his cock brushed against the mattress, he came hard, gasping for air as his muscles clenched around Antonio’s cock.

Antonio’s thrusts were still fast but they became erratic. It didn’t take long until he followed, riding out his orgasm as he held Roderich’s hips in a bruising grip.

“I wish I could fuck you like this all night,” Roderich heard Antonio pant on top of him.

 _I’m glad you can’t because I don’t think my body is made to endure this,_ Roderich thought, feeling too exhausted to move a muscle. Maybe he had said it aloud because he heard Antonio laugh softly, and then Antonio was turning him over to wipe him clean with paper tissues.

“You’re wonderful,” he said, kissing Roderich on the lips.

 _Honestly, I didn’t do much this time,_ Roderich thought, but he wrapped his hands around Antonio’s shoulders, eager to get more kisses. Antonio complied, pulling Roderich in his arms, and they kissed languidly until Roderich drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Roderich woke up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee. He stretched drowsily, needing a bit of time to remember what had been going on the day before. Then Antonio came in with a tray full of two coffee mugs, a small Thermos flask, and two plates with buttered croissants and honey. He was wearing boxer shorts but hadn’t bothered to put on anything else.

“Awake yet?” Antonio asked even though the answer was obvious. “How are you feeling today?”

“I can still feel where you’ve been inside of me, but it’s alright,” Roderich yawned. “You really were a bit too rough this time, but I can’t say it wasn’t hot.”

“Here. Drink this.” Antonio handed him one of the mugs. “I noticed you’re more tolerable after you’ve had your morning coffee.” He gave Roderich a crooked smile. Roderich took the mug and sipped on its contents while Antonio placed the tray on the blanket, crawling into the bed next to Roderich.

“For real though,” Roderich said as he felt his spirits return. “You were unusually rough, and I wouldn’t have thought you’d choose a position you knew I don’t particularly like.”

Antonio said nothing, sipping on his own coffee with a self-conscious expression. Roderich’s gaze slipped past him, falling on the alarm clock next to the bed. _Quarter to nine._ Roderich groaned.

“Damn, that was thirteen hours, wasn’t it?” Roderich calculated how much he’d have to pay for the additional time he had spent with Antonio, deciding that he’d rather not think about all that money. “I’m sure Angélique will be pleased, but my purse is not.”

“Angé has no idea you’re here,” Antonio said quietly. Roderich blinked. He wasn’t sure he had understood correctly.

“Don’t you get it?” Antonio added, a little more aggressively. “Look around. There’s my desk with my laptop and a folder full of course notes on it, and my lab coat is over the desk chair.” He pointed to them. “These are my medical books.” He pointed to a shelf on top of the desk that was filled with weighty tomes. “And here’s my collection of model ships.” He pointed to a glass cabinet next to the desk. “Do you think that’s where an escort normally takes his client?”

Roderich’s lips formed a silent _Oh._ His heart started to beat violently in his chest.

“The truth is, I wanted to fuck you so badly, and I wanted to do it the way I liked,” Antonio confessed, looking into Roderich’s eyes until it seemed to become too much and he looked away. “In case it was the last time,” he whispered.

“But ... why?” Roderich stumbled, feeling perplexed. “Why me?”

“Because...” Antonio hesitated. He looked back at Roderich, more determined this time. Starting again, he said: “When I saw photos of you for the first time, I thought _Oh shit, he’s my type._ Then I met you and I slept with you and we talked ... and I realised how smart and beautiful you really are. That you’re _actually_ my type. How unlikely it was I’d find someone like you again who also happened to be interested in _me._ And I could tell that was the case from the way you looked at me.” Antonio smiled wistfully.

“I’m going to be truthful with you. This isn’t the first time I developed a crush on a client. But most people who book me are much older than me and either married or workaholics. They want someone to keep them company once in a while, but they don’t seek a partner. I never even said anything because I thought it was hopeless in the first place.” He gave a small, bitter laugh.

“I still don’t understand,” said Roderich. “You’re so attentive and caring ... and with your looks on top of that ... I can’t imagine it wouldn’t be easy for you to find a partner at university!”

“I’m not so sure about that.” Antonio pulled a face. “I’d need to disclose to them how I earn my living, and, quite frankly, I don’t want any other medicine student to know that. People in my field are rather competitive, and I don’t think it would do my grades any good if my professors and other teachers learned that I work as an escort. As for students at my uni who don’t study medicine...” He sighed. “I’ve made the experience that most people who don’t get to talk to me for longer just judge me by my looks. They think I’m either dumb or shallow, or both. Good for a fling, but not for a relationship.” Antonio shrugged a little helplessly. “I tried Tinder too, but it’s even worse there.”

“Quite unsurprisingly,” Roderich couldn’t help to deadpan. There was, however, still something he didn’t understand. “You said you thought it was hopeless when you became infatuated with a client, and that this was different when you met me. But you tried to push me away regardless. I wonder why that was, and what made you change your mind.”

“I tried to push you away _because_ I had started to like you so much.” Antonio gave a bitter laugh. “You know, I didn’t quite tell you the truth when I spoke about my job. Actually, I asked Angé to reserve me for the more pleasant clients. You know, the nice ladies and gents who take you to the opera and want you to discuss work-related stuff or things they read with them. I don’t get as much money for them as others in the agency get for other clients, but it’s ... safer.”

“Safer?” Roderich frowned. Things he had read about sex workers in newspaper articles flooded his mind. “You mean ... they’d be less likely to force their escort to sleep with them without protection?” He also remembered what Antonio had told him about Natalia’s background checks. “Less likely to become unexpectedly violent, perhaps?”

“Exactly.” Antonio gave him a crooked smile. “See, I’ve been working as an escort ever since I enrolled for physiotherapy seven years ago; first for an agency that wasn’t so nice and then for Angé. I know the business quite well and I’ve seen some shit go down around me. Clients who think you must comply to their every wish, just because they pay you to have sex with them. Colleagues who caught STDs either because they were careless themselves or because their clients refused to use protection, or have them use protection. And, you know...” He took a deep breath.

“We’ve had a few cases in which colleagues of mine got diagnosed with the HI virus. I mean it’s not the death sentence it used to be and you can even grow old with it nowadays, but it’s still something that isn’t to be taken lightly. It means getting medicated and regular checkups with a doctor for _your whole life._ And all that for something that’s fairly easy to avoid!” He clenched his fist angrily. “You know how I make a point of always wearing a condom? That’s exactly why.”

“That sounds awful, but I still don’t see how that is a reason to hold me off,” Roderich said. “You said you’ve always been careful yourself...”

“Yes, but my contract is running for three more months and I can’t and won’t do anything about it,” Antonio said, sounding defensive. “That’s how I pay for all my expenses too. But it’s also three more months in which something could happen that’s beyond my control, and three more months in which you’d need to accept that I have sex with other people.” He sighed. “If I was a better person, I probably wouldn’t have agreed to meet with you again in the first place.”

“Well...” Roderich cocked his head to the side. “For my part, I’m glad you’re selfish enough to seize your chance and make a move on me. And isn’t there a Latin proverb that says _fortune favours the bold?_ I mean ... I’ve always known what you are and I fell in love with you regardless.” He shrugged. “Honestly, I haven’t been in a proper relationship in several _years._ Three _months_ don’t seem like such a long wait to me.” He gave Antonio a small smile. “I mean, it wouldn’t hurt to try, would it? And we could both get tested afterwards to give you some peace of mind. How does that sound?”

“Almost too good to be true.” Antonio smiled back lugubriously. “I think that’s easier said than done ... being in a relationship without being exclusive. And I can’t help thinking ... you could be so much better off with someone who doesn’t have the history I have.”

“We wouldn’t have met if you didn’t have that history,” Roderich pointed out. “Quite frankly, I don’t think there are much better people out there than you. You’re so considerate and understanding. I never had the impression that you were hiding something; that you were, perhaps, secretly judging me for my awful relationship with my mother or for my lack of relationships. You gave me the feeling that I didn’t need to hide anything about myself or keep up any pretence. That I could be myself and relax in your arms.” He blinked, suddenly overcome with emotion. “I rarely ever had that feeling in the company of people I’ve known only for a few days. Truth be told, I rarely ever had that feeling _at all._ It’s so valuable to me. I don’t want to let go of it—I don’t want to let go of _you.”_

“Oh, Roderich,” Antonio said. “I don’t want to let go of you either.” He embraced him, careful not to upset the tray that was still between them.

It was Roderich who initiated their kiss. The touch of their lips was tender, careful as if neither of them could fully believe that their feelings were returned; that the other was actually willing to enter a relationship with him. Finally, Roderich broke away, resting his front against Antonio’s.

“It would be a shame if we let the coffee you made become cold,” he pointed out, smiling. “The croissants won’t get any fresher either.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Antonio gave him an ironic smirk. “That’s what you get for making food when all you actually want to make is—”

“Don’t be cheesy!” Roderich interrupted him. “No worries, we’ll get to that too. But let me have some food first.” He turned to the tray, registering with an amused smile that Antonio suddenly seemed eager to eat his breakfast as well.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Roderich’s orchestra had three concerts from Saturday evening to Sunday evening, so they agreed to meet again at the next possible date, which happened to be Monday in the late afternoon. This time, however, the wait left Roderich in an elated mood and he played the piano with a joy he had rarely been able to live up to in the past few weeks. Sadık was easily able to put two and two together.

“So you did call him again?” he asked Roderich outright when they had lunch together on Sunday noon. Roderich nodded, unable to keep a broad, foolish grin from his face.

“We agreed to give it a try,” Roderich told his friend. “See if we can make it work. Antonio’s contract runs for three more months, and if things go well until then, we can perhaps make it official.” The phrasing he used was careful, but he was absolutely determined to _make it work._ He wanted this relationship; wanted Antonio not just in his bed but also in his life; and he had no intention whatsoever to let him go now that a future with him seemed so close within his grasp.

Later, after he had played his final notes in the evening concerto, he overheard Sadık talk with Michelle and another clarinet whose name he didn’t know.

“Roderich seems so happy,” Michelle pointed out. “He’s seeing someone, isn’t it?”

“Yes, he’s got a boyfriend now!” Sadık said smugly, pleased he knew something the girls didn’t.

“Oh, I didn’t know he was gay!” the other clarinet chimed in. “I always thought he liked women.”

“He’s bisexual,” Sadık informed them, “and being in a relationship with a man doesn’t make him any less bi.” Roderich grinned as he noticed his friend using the exact wording in which he had explained his sexuality to him.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Roderich had assumed they would spend a nice evening in the kitchen, cooking delicious paella together, before they would proceed to activities that were pleasant in another way. He had mentioned in a message or two how much he liked Mediterranean food, so Antonio had revealed that cooking was one of his own hobbies as well, and how his Spanish food was praised in his whole friend group. That was why Roderich had suggested the most clichéd Spanish dish he had been able to think of.

The plan worked exactly until Antonio appeared at his doorstep with a small basket of ingredients Roderich hadn’t had in the house. They greeted each other with what was meant to be a sweet, loving kiss, but it turned into something greedy and open-mouthed so quickly it left Roderich puzzled at his own amount of sexual desire.

Grinding against him, Antonio kicked the door shut and pushed him against the wall next to it. Sinking to his knees in front of him, he pulled down Roderich’s trousers and underwear. Antonio put his mouth around him, holding his hip with one hand and one knee with the other. Both was necessary, for Roderich was overwhelmed with the sudden amount of sensations. He couldn’t keep his hips from moving with Antonio’s nips and sucks, and his knees were about to give in as he got closer.

When he came, it was with a guttural moan, and he slid down the wall as Antonio took his hands away, opening his jeans in order to get his own release. Still dizzy from his sexual high, Roderich swatted his hands away, finally, _finally_ feeling Antonio’s cock between his own lips.

“I never knew I was this hungry,” Antonio said breathlessly after he had come in Roderich’s mouth. Roderich snickered a little hysterically.

“Honestly though,” Antonio added in a more serious tone, “I thought we could spend a nice evening without starting to devour each other at first sight.”

“Well, me too,” Roderich admitted frankly. “It’s a completely new experience for me to be with someone who turns me on as much as you do.”

Seeing the smug grin on Antonio’s face, Roderich wondered if he should have admitted that so openly. Later, in the kitchen, however, he wondered if he would have received so many casual touches and caresses while they were cooking if he hadn’t said it, and he decided it had been the absolute right thing to do.

The food was delicious, as was the wine Antonio had thought to bring with him as well. They talked mostly about the tasteful interior of Roderich’s living room and about his job before they proceeded to Antonio’s studies. Roderich made no attempts to hide how smitten he was, and a pleasant tickle remained in his stomach that wasn’t just the wine.

After dinner, Roderich led Antonio to his bedroom. This time, Antonio let him top, establishing an unwritten rule that whenever one of them went too much in the direction of his own preferences during sex, he needed to make up for that by letting the other have his way one of the following days. Roderich decided on slow, sensual lovemaking, and from the way Antonio moaned as he came close, he was sure this was something Antonio liked as well.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

They met as often as they could during the following weeks. Roderich practiced less than he usually did, making time for their dates, but he made up for it with more joy of playing and more delicate modulations. He also composed less, but the compositions he wrote were better structured and sounded more complex. One even made it into the programme of his orchestra’s Sunday matinée. Overall, his colleagues in the orchestra were quite content about his raised spirits and his students were also happy about their teacher’s good mood.

For Antonio, however, it became increasingly difficult to juggle commuting between his own flat, university, Roderich’s place, and meetings with his clients. Noticing how tired Antonio sometimes seemed, Roderich started to worry about his grades. One evening, as they lay in each other’s embrace, Roderich decided to voice his concerns.

“You seem tired,” he said. It was as good a start as any.

“It’s been a long day.” Antonio tried to smile away his fatigue.

“No, I mean you seem tired for a while now.” Roderich gently took Antonio’s face in his hands. “I wonder if you still have enough time for your studies.” Antonio cast down his eyes, essentially confirming Roderich’s suspicions.

“It’s just for one more month,” he said. “Then I’ve got more time for uni. My final exam is coming up next year, too, so I really need to sit down and power through...”

“Don’t you think it will still be quite the effort to commute between our two places and the university?” Roderich prompted. “Donaustadt is quite the distance from the city centre...”

“Oh, it’s all right. The public transport connections are quite good...”

“...whereas my flat is right in the centre and has a spare room in which there’s only my piano and a few bookshelves at this time...”

Antonio blinked. Roderich fought the urge to blush, as he always did when he wasn’t sure how the other person would react to a suggestion. As always, it was futile.

“So ... you’re suggesting ... I should move in with you?” Antonio asked slowly.

“Yes,” Roderich said weakly. His heart was beating fast in his chest. Antonio hesitated.

“Don’t you think we should wait until I don’t work for Angé anymore ... and until I’ve got my test results?”

“I want to live with you,” Roderich said simply. “I want to fall asleep and wake up next to you every day, not just on the days when the both of us have enough spare time to meet. And, quite frankly, no test result will change anything about that.”

Antonio fell silent. Roderich felt more and more nervous the longer he said nothing.

“Thank you,” Antonio said quietly. Roderich blinked.

“It’s no problem at all. I inherited my flat from my great-aunt, and it’s always been too big...”

“No,” Antonio interrupted him. “You said you wanted to live with me regardless of how my test results turned out to be. That means a lot to me.” Roderich’s face darkened.

“Why, certainly!” he exclaimed, letting go of Antonio’s face. “What do you think of me?”

“I think...” Antonio broke off. “Not everyone would think like this. Believe me, I’ve seen people break it off with colleagues at the escort agencies I worked because of that reason.” He looked directly into Roderich’s eyes. “But they’re not you, of course. You’re a wonderful person, and sometimes I can’t believe I managed to get together with you.”

“Hm.” Roderich made a pouting face, but he had already forgiven Antonio. “So do you want to move in with me now, yes or no?”

“Do you really...” Antonio gave Roderich a tentative smile. “Are you sure you really want us to move together?”

“Absolutely,” Roderich said firmly. He had been thinking about this for a while. Now that he had voiced it, the possibility that Antonio might deny his suggestion seemed crushing and he wondered how he had been brave enough to ask in the first place.

“Well then, _fortune favours the bold,_ isn’t it?” Now Antonio’s eyes were smiling too. Roderich gave a sigh of relief, and then his face lighted up into a broad, happy grin. Antonio laughed, throwing his arms around him.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

“Are you relieved?” Antonio asked Roderich when the last day of his employment at Angélique’s escort agency had arrived.

“I don’t know,” Roderich said truthfully. “I was actually worried I’d mind you working at _Valse en Velours_ much more than I initially believed I would or that I did in the end. But I’m looking forward a lot to us moving together and to spending more time with you.” He smiled, putting his arms around Antonio’s neck. “But how about you? Are you relieved?”

“I...” Antonio interrupted himself, taking the time to actually think about the question. “I’m not so sure what I feel. I’ve been working as an escort for several years now. It feels ... weird to just stop, you know? In spite of what I told you about the risks of the job and of how I need more time to prepare for my exams anyway ... I think I’m going to miss it. Is that bad?” He stared at Roderich with his big puppy dog eyes. Roderich smiled and kissed him on the lips.

“Not at all. I think it’s always tough to end things that we’ve become used to, even if not everything about them is great.”

“Thank you for understanding.” Antonio nuzzled his head against the crook of Roderich’s neck and Roderich kissed his hair.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

As it turned out, Angélique had organised a surprise goodbye gathering for Antonio when he came to pick up his comp card and a folder with more information about his qualities as an escort.

“I’d have asked you to come with me if I’d known that before,” he said to Roderich as he visited him afterwards. He had a box of chocolates and a bottle of red wine in his hands that his coworkers had gifted to him.

“Oh, you know, it’s probably for the best.” Roderich shrugged. “It’s a world that still feels so foreign to me ... I’d probably never have entered it if it wasn’t for Basch’s wedding.” He kissed the tip of Antonio’s nose. “But I’m glad I did. Otherwise we wouldn’t have met.”

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Afterwards, Antonio’s move proceeded pretty quickly. They managed to transport his belongings to Roderich’s place in just one day. As soon as Roderich had mentioned their intention to move together, Sadık had asked his cousin, the owner of a haulage firm, to rent them one of his vans at a discount price. They didn’t need to pay for a person to drive because Sadık had the necessary permit and gladly offered to help them in exchange for an invitation to dinner.

Sadık and Antonio decided to move the large dinner table and a sideboard from the former dining room into the music room. Moving the piano would have been much more difficult. The upside of this was that Antonio now had two large windows in his room. He was quite happy about this because it would allow him to study by daylight for as long as possible, and Roderich was happy he could keep his piano at its proper place.

Antonio needed a few days to settle into the new place. Roderich realised belatedly that it was stressful for him to have their STD test scheduled just a few days later as well, but neither of them wanted to postpone it any longer either. That was why Antonio kept pacing through their now shared flat restlessly for a few days. He only got some rest when Roderich and him were embracing, and Roderich was only too happy to add cuddling on the couch to his favourite hobbies.

They had to return to the doctor’s in order to get their results so they would be properly explained to them. To be sure, Antonio knew perfectly well how to read a medical report, but he didn’t want to ask for special treatment either.

Thankfully, all of their tests turned out to be negative. Antonio grinned when he came out of the doctor’s office, and Roderich hugged him in relief. They were both in an elated mood and decided to celebrate with dinner at a fairly expensive restaurant.

When they returned to their flat, Antonio was still giddy with pleasure, giving Roderich little kisses on the mouth and on the cheek while they walked side by side. Roderich felt a bit nervous about this amount of affection in plain daylight, but he didn’t want to damp Antonio’s spirits. He could get over a little discomfort if it meant Antonio was happy.

“I can’t wait to come inside of you,” Antonio whispered while Roderich was unlocking the door to their flat.

“Shush,” Roderich whispered back. It took some effort for him to steady his hands in order to find the keyhole after this announcement.

“Mmmh ... I can tell you like the thought,” Antonio hummed into his ear. Finally, the door was open, and Roderich pulled him inside only to slam him against the wall as he kicked the door shut with his foot.

“Keep talking like that and we won’t make it to the bed,” Roderich muttered, kissing Antonio too enthusiastically to be convincingly grumpy. “I’d really _like_ to make it to the bed.” He pushed his hips against Antonio’s, gasping as he felt how aroused they both were. Antonio threw his head back, watching him under half-lidded eyes as he pressed back against Roderich’s touch.

“Then take me there,” Antonio said hoarsely. “On second thought, I wouldn’t mind to have _you_ come inside of me. You seem quite enthusiastic today.”

“Now, now, don’t backtrack from your promises!” Roderich grumbled as he pulled Antonio along with him to the bedroom.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

With the STD test out of the way, their lives gradually settled into patterns of routines. On weekdays, Antonio tended to be the first to wake, making breakfast for himself and a cup of black coffee for his boyfriend. Roderich loved waking up to the scent of the freshly brewed beverage and to a kiss on his cheek as he was handed a warm mug. It was only when Roderich needed to get up early for his orchestra’s Sunday morning matinées that he was awake earlier than Antonio. When he wasn’t too tired, he walked to the bakery to serve Antonio an opulent breakfast in bed. Afterwards, Antonio went back to sleep for a bit while Roderich left the house.

Apart from these morning rituals, their days proceeded in irregular patterns. Antonio went to the library whenever Roderich taught students in their flat, but he enjoyed listening to Roderich practice on the piano while he worked for his exams at their home. Roderich was quite busy with concerts during the winter season, but the two of them made sure they spent at least one evening of the week with each other, going out or just relaxing in their living room. Antonio also made it to some of Roderich’s concerts, but not to many. Roderich realised that he preferred them to spend time on their own rather than Antonio cheering him on, at least as long as Antonio was so busy with his studies.

There was one thing that didn’t change: They still had difficulty keeping their fingers off each other. Luckily Antonio did a considerable part of his exam preparations at university, at the library and in study groups; otherwise Roderich would have felt rather guilty for keeping him from his studies quite a bit while they were both at home.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Christmas was approaching fast. Initially Roderich had no idea what to get Antonio as a present. Then he received a WhatsApp message from Erika.

 _Henri and me are making a photo album of Léa and Basch’s wedding for Christmas,_ she wrote. _At first we wanted to make it right after the wedding, but it took a while until the majority of the guests who took photos handed theirs in. There are some that might be interesting for you ... Just click on the Dropbox link and you’ll see what I mean._

Roderich opened the link on his computer and _stared._ There was a photo of their kiss during the hike alongside Lake Geneva. He had been _so sure_ nobody had been close enough to see them kiss, but apparently someone had. Clicking on, he found photos of Antonio and him holding hands; of them hugging; of Antonio taking Roderich’s hand in front of the flower sundial; of them dancing; even of Roderich catching the wedding bouquet. He was almost brought to tears.

 _Thank you!_ he replied to Erika. _This is the most beautiful Christmas present I could have wished for._

Erika’s reply was only one line: _I’m sure Antonio would feel the same._ It was followed by a winking emoji. Roderich grinned. Now he knew what to do.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Presents were usually handed out on Christmas Eve in Austria. Roderich had been asked to play the organ during one of the Christmas Masses in Vienna, so it was only after midnight that Antonio and him returned home to a cosy little Christmas tree that Antonio had set up in their living room and decorated at the last minute. There were two parcels in front of the tree. One of them was wrapped in red, Christmas-themed gift-wrapping paper, rectangular and rather flat. The other was wrapped in glossy purple paper and almost square.

“You first,” said Antonio, handing Roderich the purple parcel with a faint blush. Roderich unwrapped it carefully, producing a wooden mechanical metronome. Towards its bottom, someone had etched silhouettes of their faces in profile, turned towards each other and almost kissing. Roderich was overwhelmed with its beauty.

“I ... I know you probably don’t need it,” Antonio spluttered. “But maybe your students...”

“Antonio, this is the most beautiful thing anyone has gifted to me in years!” Roderich said solemnly. He gave his boyfriend a kiss on the lips, which spread into a big grin at that declaration. Then Roderich gave Antonio his present, holding his breath as he watched him unwrap it.

Roderich had chosen a closeup of their entwined hands for the title page. Then Erika’s photos followed in almost chronological order, save for the photograph of them kissing that Roderich had removed to the penultimate page. The final page was blank save for two sentences in a beautiful cursive: _“I’m sure you’re going to find the perfect person,” you said. I found you._

“Oh, Roderich,” Antonio said in a hoarse voice. “I’m so glad we found each other, too!” Then he wrapped his arms around Roderich and started to cry. Roderich patted his back, stunned by this kind of reaction.

“This is such a wonderful gift!” Antonio sobbed against his throat. “I love you so, so much!”

They both stilled at that declaration. Antonio pulled back a little. Tears were streaking his face.

“I love you,” he repeated in a serious tone.

“I love you too, you sappy dork!” Roderich smiled against Antonio’s lips, kissing him again. Antonio pulled him closer, and then they were kissing in earnest.

This, Roderich thought as they were making out slowly on the living room couch. This was the person who made him happy; the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Roderich had concertos scheduled on both New Year’s Eve and Day, but after that, he was free for a whole week. A while ago already, Antonio had suggested visiting his parents over Epiphany who had gone back to Spain after working in Austria for more than twenty years. That was why, after an uneventful flight, Roderich found himself cheek-kissed by an older copy of Antonio with greying hair and woman who, despite the grey streaks in her hair, was still exceptionally beautiful. Roderich smiled to himself as he realised it was no wonder Antonio had turned out such a handsome man, having inherited his good looks from both sides of the family.

It turned out most of the family had gathered in the cosy little house near Madrid in which Antonio’s parents lived. Roderich was suddenly surrounded by Antonio’s brother, said brother’s wife and two daughters, three aunts with their families, and a cat. Antonio’s grandmother pulled on Roderich’s cheek, declaring, to his great embarrassment, that she wouldn’t have pushed him out of bed either if she had been in Antonio’s stead.

 _So this is what family gatherings can also be like,_ Roderich thought as he tried to come to terms with the masses of food on the extending table, listening to fast chatter in a language he had only half a grasp of. He was a little overwhelmed with the situation. It seemed like Antonio’s whole family consisted of people with the personalities of Erika and Léa, and it felt a little too much for a first encounter. While Roderich was happy they seemed to accept him in their midst without hesitation, he couldn’t help feeling a little jealous of Antonio’s family life as compared to his own.

“Are you okay?” Antonio asked quietly in German when they rested on the mattress that had been propped up in the living room for them without further ado. Roderich’s grandmother was snoring quietly on the comfortable sofa about two metres from them, and Antonio tried to avoid waking her.

“I’m just a bit tired,” Roderich replied in an equally quiet tone. “Your family is ... so lively. But I like it here.” He smiled.

“I’m glad.” Antonio returned his smile, pecking him on the nose. Roderich nuzzled his cheek against Antonio’s and was asleep almost in an instant.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

They stayed for three days; barely enough for Roderich to get to know Antonio’s family a little better and to see some of the area surrounding the town in which they lived. Antonio, however, had known he couldn’t work for his exam in the bustling house and hadn’t dared to take a longer break from studying.

When it was time to say goodbye, Roderich received hugs and cheek kisses from all family members at once. Antonio seemed to be used to it, hugging and kissing back enthusiastically, but Roderich still felt dazed by so much display of familial affection. He told Antonio so on their way back to the airport, receiving a chuckle and another cheek kiss in return.

“I’ll do my best to make you get used to public kisses as a greeting by the time we visit my family again,” he promised with a wink. Roderich laughed. He wanted to point out that it was different if the one who kissed you was your boyfriend, but he said nothing. Getting cheek kisses every time he saw Antonio didn’t sound too bad, after all.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The closer Antonio’s exams came, the more he turned into a jumpy ball of nerves. Roderich didn’t mind Antonio’s newfound clinginess by night, but he worried about him having the nerve to go through exams lasting several hours and performing at his best.

“Think of it as sort of a prolonged stage fright,” Antonio explained when Roderich told him about his worries. “I’ll be fine as soon as I’m in the exam situation, but before that...” He shuddered, clinging a little tighter to Roderich’s back. “I’m just glad we have each other,” he whispered against the sensitive space below Roderich’s ear. “I’m so grateful for your calm and your emotional support.” At that, Roderich turned around, pulling Antonio into a proper embrace.

“You know what’s also really good as a means of stress relief?” Roderich said, smirking. His hands were already slipping under Antonio’s pyjama.

“Mmh ... That’s a very good idea,” Antonio mumbled against Roderich’s ear, properly kissing the spot below.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Roderich took care to bring Antonio tea and sweets while he was studying. He tried to free him of as many household duties as he could, but what he couldn’t do was spare him his practice sessions on the piano while Antonio was studying at home. Roderich’s orchestra had been booked for a multi-day festival a few weeks after Antonio’s exams, so Roderich needed to use every free minute to study his parts. While it had never been a problem for Antonio if Roderich had practiced before, Roderich saw that particularly the more modern pieces with odd metres and irrational rhythms started to grate on Antonio’s nerves. Roderich talked to Antonio about the situation and tried to practice away from home as often as possible, but there was only so much he could do.

One day, he hadn’t closed the door to the music room properly. That was the last straw for Antonio. He barged into the room, slamming the door closed with a loud bang that made Roderich’s hands slip from the keys.

“You could at least shut the fucking door when you play that godawful travesty of a rhythm!” Antonio hissed. Roderich winced. His heart was beating fast and he focused on breathing in and out, in and out... But Antonio wasn’t done: “Holy Mother Mary, this _not-tune_ is plunking through any attempts of mine to focus! I can’t even hear myself think anymore with all that background noise!”

“Antonio.” Roderich closed his eyes, trying to keep his voice calm and quiet. “I know the timing is unfortunate and I’m also aware atonality is not for everyone...”

“Then fucking stop playing it while I’m working for my bloody exams!” Antonio yelled, slamming his fist on the lower half of the piano with a dissonant, resounding bang.

“Go,” Roderich whispered. His eyes were still closed; he still focused on breathing, but he felt anger rise inside him like a wave.

“No! You go!” Antonio shouted. “My whole career depends on this exam, and this is my flat now as much as it is yours!”

“I agree,” Roderich replied, outwardly calm but inwardly seething with rage. “The flat is ours, but _this”_ —he gestured to the instrument—“is _my_ piano and don’t you _dare_ touch it like that!” His voice had dropped below freezing point. He rose from the piano bench, standing mere centimetres from Antonio.

They were staring at each other. Neither of them was willing to back down, but Roderich was the calmer and, when it mattered, colder of the two. Antonio eventually turned with an angry sound, storming out of the room and slamming the door behind him. Two minutes later, Roderich heard the flat door shut with a bang as well. He sagged on the piano bench, feeling numb.

Their argument had been so foreseeable ... and, perhaps, avoidable? Roderich wasn’t sure.

Perhaps it was time to invest in a keyboard? Electronic instruments didn’t make noise and he might also use it to play at night if he felt like it...

That was about the time the reality of their argument needed to catch up with Roderich. He started to cry, wiping angrily at his eyes for betraying him like this. Roderich didn’t even know why he bothered to suppress his tears. Antonio had left the flat, and...

Damn, that hurt. He had never wanted to argue with Antonio.

Functional. He needed to be functional. Get out his laptop, search for keyboard models maybe...

No.

Now Roderich knew what to do. He needed to go and find Antonio; needed to bring him back.

He rushed to the door, not even bothering to tie the laces while he put on his boots. Grabbing his coat—no time for a scarf—he tore the door open ... to find himself face to face with Antonio who was searching for his keys.

“I’m sorry,” they exclaimed at the same time. Roderich tugged Antonio inside at the sleeve of his coat, not wanting to let the whole building know about their argument. The staircase resounded quite a bit.

“I’ve been an utter idiot!” Antonio wailed, hugging Roderich. “To argue over a petty thing like this!” He started to sob, and Roderich didn’t stop his tears from falling anymore either.

“It’s okay.” Roderich returned the hug. “You’re just stressed. I’m going to buy a keyboard and a set of headphones so I’ll be able to play the piano while you won’t hear it. Probably should have done that a while ago.”

“No, it’s not okay!” Antonio insisted. “I should never have shouted at you. I shouldn’t have slammed my fist on the keys, and I shouldn’t have run away like this ... I don’t know what came over me. That’s not how I usually...”

“Shhh,” Roderich whispered, stroking Antonio’s back. “You apologised. And it was my fault too. I should have thought of a way to play without disturbing you sooner. But I promise it’ll be better from now on.” He gave Antonio a quick peck on the cheek, tasting the salt from his tears. “We got this.”

“I just hope you won’t always play on the keyboard while I’m home,” Antonio said, kissing Roderich’s cheek in turn. Roderich could feel Antonio’s smile against his skin. “I still like to hear you play. It’s calming, just not ... when it’s that modern stuff.”

“We can do that.” Roderich’s lips quirked upward and he nudged his cheek lightly against Antonio’s.

“Wait a minute.” Antonio held him by the shoulders, taking a step back. “I need to ... tell you something. I originally wanted to do it after my exams, but... Maybe the best time is now.” He blushed, hurrying away. “Stay right where you are!” he called over his shoulder.

Roderich didn’t stay where he was. He stepped out of his boots, put his coat on the rack and snuck to the chest of drawers in the hall. Fumbling behind his tiepin boxes, he found what he was looking for and slipped it in his trouser pocket. If he was correct...

Antonio rushed back into the hall, slipping half a metre towards Roderich as he let himself fall to his knees. Roderich winced. That looked painful.

Antonio, however, did not show any signs of pain. He held a tiny, opened box towards Roderich with an expression on his face that could only be described as anxious.

“M—marry me?” he stammered out, voice rising half an octave as he spoke. It was almost comical and disarmingly endearing.

Roderich’s eyes slipped to the unpretentious silver ring, encircled by a thin line of amethyst, and then back to Antonio.

“Of course,” he said, unable to help the amused grin that spread over his face. He went to his knees as well, giving Antonio his hand so he could put the ring on it.

This was so much easier if you weren’t the one who asked first.

As soon as Antonio had adjusted the ring on his left hand, Roderich produced his own jewellery box and showed Antonio the golden ring that was inside. He had had a similar idea: There was a red line of garnet in its middle, both to accentuate the circle as a symbol of eternity and to give it a resemblance of the Spanish flag.

Their rings were similar but different. In a way, it was perfect.

“And you?” Roderich asked. “Do you want to marry me too?”

Antonio stared at the ring, then at Roderich.

“Yes!” he gasped out. Then he flung his arms around Roderich, almost making him topple over backwards.

“You need to give me a chance to put the ring on your finger too, darling!” Roderich chuckled, hugging Antonio back with his free arm.

“After my exams.” Antonio pulled back, looking into Roderich’s eyes with seriousness. “After my exams, we’re going to put a ring on our relationship. Officially.” Roderich chuckled at his eagerness.

“After your exams, you’re going to relax for a bit because that’s what you _deserve,”_ he said, using the opportunity to actually slip the ring on Antonio’s finger. “Then we’re going to _start_ planning. And when it’s summery and warm”—he kissed Antonio on the mouth— _“then”_ —another kiss—“we’re going to get married.” Roderich grinned, suddenly feeling as bubbly and excited as Antonio acted.

“I love you,” Antonio whispered, not for the first time since he had said it on Christmas.

“I love you too.” Roderich smiled. “And now let’s get up and move over to the sofa. It’s getting a bit uncomfortable on the floor.”

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The summer air was drifting in warm waves over the vineyards on the hills surrounding Vienna. Roderich was watching the crowd that had gathered on a slope above Kahlenbergerdorf, a particularly picturesque wine-growing municipality on the right-hand bank of the Danube that had become a part of Vienna at the end of the nineteenth century.

Antonio and him had decided they would not marry—or, as the official terminology went, register their partnership—in a confined space. They wanted warmth and blue skies and beauty surrounding them, and the day they had chosen seemed determined to provide for all of it. After the marriage registrar had registered their partnership, they would celebrate in one of the _Heurigen_ in Kahlenbergerdorf, taverns selling wine cultivated in the area.

Antonio, now a doctor in training, looked dashing in the cream-coloured suit on which they had decided—no white, no black, but something that suited them both. He pushed the tousled hair from his eyes, a display of nerves that filled Roderich with the wish to hold him and never let him go. Instead, Roderich gave him a reassuring smile.

“You look so happy,” Antonio whispered, linking their fingers for a moment.

“I am happy,” Roderich whispered back, suppressing the urge to kiss Antonio right then and there.

The orchestra began to play Mendelssohn’s Wedding March. Of course Roderich’s colleagues had insisted to perform for him on his wedding. Roderich was glad they had chosen pieces for which a tympanum wasn’t necessary; he needed Sadık as his best man.

As soon as the music ceased, the marriage registrar, a middle-aged woman with short, brown hair, stepped in front of them. She greeted them and checked their photo ID before she held a short speech Roderich, Antonio and her had agreed on. It highlighted the importance to find a partner who was also a best friend to you; a person to laugh and cry with. Someone in whom you could trust and find strength and with whom you were willing to face difficult passages in your life.

The wedding motto they had chosen was a classic; the biblical Ruth’s speech to her mother-in-law Naomi: “Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.” Just because they couldn’t have a church wedding didn’t mean they couldn’t have a biblical wedding motto, Roderich had reasoned. Antonio had agreed because he loved the power and beauty of these words.

Then, finally, the registrar asked them if they wanted to get partnered. They both replied with “yes” and exchanged their rings—their engagement rings because they had agreed the choices they had made for each other had been just too perfect to surpass.

Roderich gave Antonio a relaxed and happy smile, glad to see the tension and stress melt from his partner’s face. He leaned towards Antonio, determined to give him a proper kiss regardless of all the other people surrounding them: Their friends and family—yes, even Roderich’s parents had come—his colleagues, some of Antonio’s former fellow students and a few of his former workmates.

The strings began to play an adapted version of Metallica’s _Nothing Else Matters_ as they leaned in for their kiss; Antonio’s choice of music. To Roderich’s surprise it was Antonio who was the chaste kisser now, almost reverent in the way he brushed their lips together.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Antonio whispered so quietly only Roderich could hear him. “I thought there might still be some obstacle at the last minute...”

“There’s no way I’d have let you walk away, now that we managed to get this far.” Roderich nudged their noses together and grinned.

The registrar cleared his throat, and they focused on the rather bureaucratic rest of the ritual: They signed their entry in the registry with their surnames they had decided to keep.

“Congratulations to your partnership!” the registrar said with a smile. Antonio looked as if he wanted to jump in the air and shout “Hooray!” Roderich had a hard time to keep himself from laughing.

Then Erika handed them a bouquet of cream-coloured roses—traditions must be maintained.

“Now,” Antonio whispered. “Who should marry next?” Roderich ogled Henri out of the corner of his eye who was standing nearby, waiting for Erika to return to his side.

“I’m still not too fond of the idea to try to throw it to him,” he said hesitantly. “They’re still...”

“So young,” finished Antonio for him. “Yes, you’ve only said this about a hundred times. So what about _them?”_ He gestured to Ludwig and François with his eyes. “They seem quite happy together.”

“Let’s try that!” Roderich winked. “Let’s throw the wedding bouquet to Francis!”

They didn’t quite manage. The bouquet drifted a little to the left, and suddenly Ludwig had a bunch of cream-coloured roses in his arms. All eyes turned to him, and he turned scarlet.

“Well,” Roderich said with a shrug. “We tried. It’s almost as good as throwing it to François.”

“Wrong person, same aim.” Antonio grinned, shrugging as well. Roderich hugged him and, finally, he burst out laughing.

**Author's Note:**

>  _Smiling is the most elegant way of baring one’s teeth at one’s opponents (Lächeln ist die eleganteste Art, seinen Gegnern die Zähne zu zeigen):_ A quote attributed to German cabaret artist/“comedian” Werner Finck (1902-1978) that’s fairly popular in Germany.
> 
> Of course Roderich isn’t actually Erika’s uncle, but that doesn’t stop her from calling him “Uncle.”
> 
> Their marriage motto is Ruth 1:16f., quoted, as always if there are biblical quotes in my stories, after the King James Version because it sounds more beautiful than the English Standard Version.
> 
> Here’s the link to Rina's art again in case you’re on tumblr and want to like and reblog it: <https://salytierra.tumblr.com/post/182805219828/antonio-was-still-standing-right-next-to-him-but> ;)
> 
> ——————————
> 
> My soul feeds on the comments of people who read my stories. Yes, that includes concrit. No, it doesn’t include bashing. That’s what my spite feeds on.


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